Jack Russell Story

Story Name: Beavis the Humiliator
From: Beavis Evans

My Jack Russell Story:

Hello! My name is Beavis, I,m almost 3 years old and I,m having a little problem with my Mother. The terrier trials are less than a week away and once again I have to go. I've spent most of my life so far trying to discourage her from subjecting me to this kind of stuff but so far nothing I've done seems to work.

It all started when I was 9 months old and my parents took me to my first trial. Mom entered me a go-to-ground class because she thought it would be fun. I ask for WHO, certainly not me! So I figured I would nip this in the bud, I just sat there in front of the tunnel and wouldn't budge. The only tunneling I want to do is under the covers in bed. I thought this would be the end of my participation in these events. I was horribly wrong! Several months later, she dragged me to a "fun day". I say fun for who? Did she honestly think I wanted a basket muzzle strapped over my face, be put is a dark box and then have to high-tail after a piece of fur? To my dismay, I placed third in my heat. The only good thing was third wasn't good enough for the final race, but SHE thought it was pretty good. If I had a scanner I,d show you the picture of me with that damn muzzle on, the look on my face says it all. Well, THAT wasn't the end of it. Next was ball retrieval. HA! IS she goofy or what?! I showed her in that one! She threw the ball, released me, I ran after it, grabbed the ball, started to race back with it (I could she the sparkle in her eyes as she thought, here's something he's good at)and then I hit the brakes six feet from the line and stood there with the ball still in my mouth. Mom called for me and called for me, but I wouldn't budge. Everyone was laughing. Needless to say we didn't go home with any ribbons that day.

Well, my story doesn't end there. Last year she took me again!! Can you even believe It? Okay, ball retrieval AGAIN, this time I got serious. We had to wait 2 hours for the class to start so I walked around with my parents watching other JRT's be subjected to all this stuff that our parents think is fun. I held my tail down and tried to show Mom & Dad I wasn't thrilled to be there. Okay, start of the class. I'm first on deck, there goes the ball. Mom turns be loose, I dash forward. Halfway to the ball I stop and make sure I take the longest pee of my life. Everyone cracked up laughing. Half my mission accomplished now just one more class to go. Something called Man's Best Friend. You know a class for us loser dogs that can't make it in the confirmation ring. I can't believe she entered me in that!!!! So there's a bunch of us in the ring. All these dogs are doing cute little tricks, I figured okay this will be easy. NO TRICKS!!!! The judge approached, I refused to do anything remotely resembling a trick. I gave the judge quite a tongue bath though. Time to announce the winners. YIKES!! I hear my name. I placed fifth and got a big pink ribbon. We left the ring, Dad laughed and said sure he WOULD get a pink one. Of course my plan had failed Mom was thrilled beyond belief. So here I am now having to practise ball retrieval and a trick for this year. I'm running out of ideas. I have to think of something soon or I'm faced with a lifetime of this. Somebody help me!!!!!!!!!!!

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