Re: crying JRPosted by: Marie Evans
Posted on: November 05, 2002 at 23:01:01
In Reply to: crying JR
: Hi, I wrote to you last March re my female JR losing her pal (border collie). I felt my JR was lonely and went to the rescue league and adopted a male 4 1/2 year old JR named Bauer. Well of course we have had the issue of these 2 not getting along to well (better now that they know with their fighting, comes a squirt with the water bottle which works very well). Well the point to my question is that this male we adopted is very well behaved I have fallen in love with him totally but do treat them equal, but Bauer will actually sit there and cry whenever he wants something and won't stop until he gets what he wants. Never have had a dog thats cries like this. Mainly when he wants to walk or go in the car. He seems to be the happiest when he is in the car, I can take him out there and leave him sit and not go anywhere and he is in heaven just being in the car, very strange. There were no instructions that came with him (lol) so its hard to know what kind of enviroment he came from it has been hit and miss trying to figure him out. I need to know how to deal with his crying without him thinking I'm ignoring his needs. Has any one else mentioned a crying JR? He will also start whinning when I'm sitting at the table in the kitchen trying to have a conversation with anyone in the household. He will keep crying and start a low moan and other noises all the time I'm trying to talk, it subsides if I pick him up and let him sit on my lap. Just have never had a dog act this way. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Bauer is playing you like a fine violin. All of this crying is to get you to do his bidding and when you cave, he knows he's won. He's doing a great job of training you! ;)
I have a major manipulator too, boy he can make the most pitiful sounds you have ever heard. He sounds so pitiful I laugh!
Anyway, his behavior should not be tolerated. You are the alpha of your home, not him. I know it's tempting to really be more than kind to our rescue dogs, afterall most of them haven't had the best life. However, by being too kind we open the door to some real behavioral issues.
Manipulating you to do what he wants is showing his dominance over you. And as you know if you give these guys an inch they will go for the mile.
Don't worry about whether you are ignoring his needs or not. You have given him a loving home, food, treats and toys. He's got it made!
Needy dogs just get needier whenever you do what they want. Believe me, mine are by my side 24/7 but there are times that I just can't have them in my lap or I can't give them my undivided attention. Doesn't mean I love them less, it just means there are times they have to find ways to amuse themselves. It's a lot like having kids I guess haha!
Anyway, I just had one of them scratching on my office chair because he wanted in my lap. I told him "NO" "OFF" and he just left the office to go lay on the couch. Have I hurt his feelings? Nah, I just reminded him who rules the roost here and it's not him!
When he whines while you have company, excuse yourself, and get Bauer into his crate, preferably in another room. Then go enjoy your company, Bauer will be happy to see you when you're finished.
You give the walks and rides and lap sitting on YOUR terms not his. It might take nerves of steel in the beginning but eventually Bauer will realize the whining and crying is not going to produce the results he wants.
Get some ear plugs! And remember not to look in the eyes of misery haha!