Jack Russell Terrier Picture Caption Contest Results

Results from Contest # 100 [December 26, 2004 - 259 entries]

		Let's see, I want a cat, a chew toy, a cat, doggy door, a cat...Did I mention a cat? [votes: 45]	df
		Let's discuss this "naughty list" issue. [votes: 32]	Rus J.
		Mmmmm!! Cookie crumbs!! [votes: 17]	Scott B.
	Honorable Mentions I show you Jack Frost nipping at your nose!!!! [votes: 15] Hmm, somehow I thought you'd be bigger! [votes: 15] Are you Lookin' at me??? [votes: 15] You the fat guy that gave me that fruitcake last year? [votes: 13] With a Jack this big guarding the tree, Santa was scared stiff. [votes: 12] I would like a bone, a chew, ooh ooh and a new ball! [votes: 11] Hey, Santa, you think you can gimme back what the vet took away? There's this cute pup... [votes: 10] Ya gotta ask yourself, "Do I feel lucky?" [votes: 10] Can I guide your sled tonight? [votes: 9] Jack noticed that Santa also had a rough coat. [votes: 9] 8 tiny reindeer, you say......well a couple Jacks could pull that sled thingy of your twice as fast. [votes: 6] Dude, don't you ever get groomed? [votes: 6] Hey! That's not a real beard!!! [votes: 4] Every dog has it's day, huh Santa? [votes: 4] And I thought my beard was long... [votes: 4] You may give presents once a year, but mine are given all year! [votes: 3] A little hand-plucking here and you'll be ready for the ring! [votes: 3] I have a beard too, but mine's not fake... [votes: 2]

Results from Contest # 99 [December 19, 2004 - 341 entries]

		That fat guy won't get by me this year. [votes: 55]	kld
		Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.... (burp!)... [votes: 37]	kim
		Not a creature was stirring, not even a jack! [votes: 35]	Butch and Boots
	Honorable Mentions Dear Santa. All I want for Christmas is a 'Forever Home' for every Jack Russell. X X. [votes: 27] After a long night of eggnog, Jack decided to sleep near the bathroom. [votes: 22] I told them, "Don't use my blankie for a tree skirt again", but did they listen, nooooooo [votes: 22] While visions of rawhides danced in his head..... [votes: 21] I would rather apologize personally for last years "Accident". [votes: 14] I just know I can convince Santa I was good this year... [votes: 13] It's the gift that keeps on giving way after the lights and tree are gone. [votes: 13] The Littlest Angel [votes: 12] (softly, to herself) Santa Baby, slip a rawhide under the tree. For me! [votes: 12] After a long day of wreaking havoc ... peace on Earth [votes: 12] Trying to wait up for Santa. [votes: 10] Don't disturb me! I've just settled down for my long winter's nap. [votes: 7] How come the tree gets a blanket??? [votes: 7] A Merry Christmas to all Jacks and to all Jacks a good-night! [votes: 5] Note from Santa: I prefer milk and cookies under the tree. Thanks. [votes: 4] I'm too cute for wrapping paper! [votes: 4] Jack Russell, the present that keeps on giving little presents under the tree. [votes: 4] Hello, I'm Jack Not-In-A-Box [votes: 3] Bah Humbug, I can't sleep with these blessed lights on. [votes: 2] The only tree around.....and I can't have my way with it. [votes: 1] All is calm ...all is bright.... [votes: 1]

Results from Contest # 98 [December 12, 2004 - 198 entries]

		Now this is the part when we sit and wait for the mail man... [votes: 43]	Elizabeth
		Day-O...Day-O...Daylight come and Iguana go home... [votes: 37]	brenda
		Anna found a rich old dinosaur to marry. She says it's not for money! [votes: 27]	jkrslkay
		Beauty and the Beast [votes: 27]	Jane
	Honorable Mentions Trust me, when she's gone, you're off the couch. [votes: 25] Heeerree, lizard lizard lizard... [votes: 23] Enough sun already..Look at your skin!! [votes: 22] Iguana go outside and play. [votes: 20] Ralphie that is some skin condition, what did the vet say? [votes: 20] Jack sees his wife for the first time after being on the Swan... [votes: 17] OK, So they say Jack Russells don't breed true, but this is ridiculous! [votes: 17] (Jack thinking) "He needs to get outta my spot, my mommy can use a new handbag". [votes: 15] Bud-weis-errrrrrrrrrrrr! [votes: 13] Do you see what I see? [votes: 8] So what comes after "Here Leezard...leezard...leezard?" [votes: 7] Hey Jack, If they caption this, less filling, tastes great, or can you here me now, I'm gonna puke. [votes: 7] She's nice.. must be a rawhide. [votes: 6] JACK---RUSSS-ELL [votes: 6] Hey, it's what's on the inside that matters, right? [votes: 5] I like the way the sun brings out the highlights in your fur. [votes: 5]

Results from Contest # 97 [December 5, 2004 - 244 entries]

		You want crazy, I'll show you crazy! [votes: 27]	Allen
		Reinactment of the line outside Walmart the day after Thanksgiving. [votes: 26]	T. Mc
		Can hear hear me NOW??? [votes: 24]	k stein
	Honorable Mentions Jingle bells, jingle bells jiingle all the wayy! oh what fun it is to howl and drive them all insane. [votes: 20] I KNOW you did not just call me "Short Stuff!" [votes: 19] That's not a set of teeth, THIS IS A SET OF TEETH! [votes: 18] But they told me you were chocolate and I don't care if it's bad for me! [votes: 15] You've messed with the wrong Jack, Jack! [votes: 15] If you value your paw, you'll get it off me. [votes: 14] Easy buddy, I ain't that kinda dawg! [votes: 13] ....So then I lifted my leg and widdled all over the carpet. HA HA HA good times....good times! [votes: 12] Lets start at the chorus...Ebony and Ivory, living together in perfect harmony! [votes: 11] You're Fired! [votes: 8] She'a a little bit Countryyyyyyyy.....He's a little bit Rock-N-Rollllll.... [votes: 8] On top of Old Smokyyyyyyy all covered with fleeeeeeeeeeas... [votes: 7] Kindly remove your hand... [votes: 6] Gimme a kiss, big boy! [votes: 4] What you talkin' about .....Willis?! [votes: 4] Taste's great..... less filling. [votes: 4] Yeah, same to you buddy!!!!!!! [votes: 4] How YOU doin'? [votes: 3] Offsetting penalties for excessive doggie breath. Play beer! [votes: 3] Yes, I definitely should have used your dentist. [votes: 2]

Results from Contest # 96 [November 28, 2004 - 260 entries]

		I keep forgetting....do I plant rawhide in the spring or fall? [votes: 38]	kld
		Jack of Spades [votes: 36]	Allen
		Now with Martha in jail, I can grow the things I want in her yard! [votes: 30]	anon
	Honorable Mentions You mean this isn't what you meant when you said you wanted me to get spayed??? [votes: 23] Jack's internship as a paleontologist has been very rewarding. [votes: 17] Goodbye, my beautiful bone..... *sniffle* [votes: 16] The funny thing is... This shovel tastes better than the bone. [votes: 10] We used to be proud hunters, now we're on HGTV. [votes: 10] I thought the National Treasure would be Bigger! [votes: 10] What really happened to Jimmy Hoffa. [votes: 10] Someone wanta say a few kind words about this poor bone's soul before I bury it? [votes: 9] Go to Ground?! I'll give you Go To Ground!! [votes: 9] Jack the Ripper was never caught. [votes: 9] Jack's sister, Jackie, angry at receiving garden tools for her birthday, uses them on Jack's present. [votes: 8] How do you work this thing? [votes: 7] Now where did I put that shovel! [votes: 7] OK, your so-called "prize-winning roses!" Say your prayers! [votes: 6] If I hurry I can put the fertilizer on it too. [votes: 6] I've got everything I need to grow more -- including fertilizer! [votes: 6] After I bury this shovel, I will get to chew on my bone. [votes: 6] Trowel? I don't need no stinkin' trowel! [votes: 5] Where your gardening tools really went. [votes: 4] Forget the rawhide. This chewstick is much more interesting! [votes: 3]

Results from Contest # 95 [Nov 21, 2004 - 245 entries]

		Get your licks on Route 66. [votes: 45]	cleeonis
		hoo HOT Ahhh ohh HOT HOT!! [votes: 28]	peteys dad
		A drink of water $1.00, hitching a ride $5.00, finding your way home...priceless. [votes: 19]	Shelli
	Honorable Mentions Jack, after consuming one too many, simply could NOT walk the line! [votes: 18] I licked it, I liked it, I may lick it again, I don't care how disgusting you think it may be. [votes: 18] Hit the road Jack. [votes: 16] That chicken crossing the road tasted yummy! [votes: 14] On the road again... [votes: 13] Waddaya mean 'stick out your thumb'? What's a thumb? [votes: 13] ...and my woman took off with mah truck and mah collllllaaaarrrrrr.... [votes: 11] Water....I need Water... [votes: 10] Do you know where YOUR Jack Russells are? [votes: 9] DUDE WHERE'S MY CAR! [votes: 7] Here's what I think of your driving, pal! [votes: 7] And the oscar for best roadkill performance goes to... [votes: 5] It does not taste like chicken!! [votes: 4] Yeah this is a GREAT place for a picture... [votes: 4] What a time to have a runny nose! [votes: 3] A Coors Light and Straw would fix everything!!!!! [votes: 2] Why won't they stop!?!?! I'm showing leg like on TV... [votes: 2]

Results from Contest # 94 [Nov 14, 2004 - 341 entries]

		The Jack Russell Secret Service. [votes: 46]	cooper
		Meet cousin Bob from Jamaica. [votes: 37]	anon
		Keep looking... that lost black poodle must be around here... I can almost smell it. [votes: 23]	Ken
	Honorable Mentions One of these things is not like the other... [votes: 22] Don't say anything about her hair. She's upset enough as it is. [votes: 20] One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong. [votes: 19] If we pretend he's not here, think he'll go away? [votes: 18] Dude! You brought your girlfriend??? [votes: 17] Yeah, right! Like I'm going to believe when you say there's something big, black & furry behind me! [votes: 13] Black sheep of the family! [votes: 11] She knew the end was near when they started looking around for witnesses. [votes: 10] And they said line breeding was OK... [votes: 9] I hate these bodyguard gigs out in the woods... too much cover. [votes: 9] Used to be a bunch of trees... now it's take a number and wait to pee. [votes: 8] We should've listened to the poodle. [votes: 7] Don't look now, but I think he's right behind us... [votes: 7] What...the poodle ate all the bread crumbs? Great! Just GREAT! Now we'll NEVER make it home! [votes: 7] Find Waldo. [votes: 6] Ever get that feeling you just don't belong? [votes: 5] A friend loves you even if you are different. [votes: 5] Hey, did you here something? [votes: 4] Jean Claude was always the last to be groomed... [votes: 3] Bad Hair Day. [votes: 3] Apparently I'm a Parson's Jack Russell. [votes: 1]

Results from Contest # 93 [Nov 7, 2004 - 323 entries]

		Achillity.....Agilkity...Agillitory.....Oh heck, 1 more dink and I can run that ostibikle course. [votes: 32]	Stan
		Hi, my name is Jack and I'm an alcoholic.	Rhonda / Dell
		Man's two best friends.	Jennifer
	Honorable Mentions Hey, I'm 21...in dog years. [votes: 21] Hi.....mom.........back from vacation a day early huh? [votes: 15] Uhh, my ID? It's on my other collar, I don't have it with me. [votes: 15] One more beer and that bulldog next door will look pretty good. [votes: 14] A little hair of the dog! [votes: 13] Tastes great, less filling! [votes: 12] It's noon somewhere. [votes: 10] Uh..guys? Someone wanna help me get this straw out of my nose? [votes: 9] Shame on me?! Shame on YOU!! Light beer for a working dog? [votes: 7] How could I resist the "Call of the Rockies"? [votes: 7] Don't worry, there's more in the fridge... [votes: 6] Susie gets caught drinking before GTG! [votes: 6] What dogs really do when owners are not home. [votes: 6] Jacks Gone Wild. [votes: 6] It runs in the family, Mom's an Irish Setter and Dad's a Saint Bernard. [votes: 6] Ever go to bed at 2 with a 10 and wake up at 10 with a 2? [votes: 6] You werent' suppose to see this. [votes: 5] That guy isn't that bad looking when you think about it. [votes: 5] This really is the last straw! [votes: 5] The first step is admitting you have a problem. [votes: 5] .... and TWINS! [votes: 5] So WHAT! I know I have a beer belly!! [votes: 4] How much do I need to drink to get that rat taste out of my mouth? [votes: 4] The first time at a singles bar is always the worst. [votes: 2] Can't you leave me be, giving up smoking was tough enough! [votes: 2] They say you get drunk faster if you drink with a straw. [votes: 2] Really, it's only 10 am? Oh, I'm so embarrassed. [votes: 2] A lady always uses a straw. [votes: 1]

Results from Contest # 92 [October 31, 2004 - 330 entries]

		Bush, Kerry, Bush, Kerry, Bush, Kerry [votes: 26]	Penelope
		The reaction to the word "Neuter". [votes: 17]	Diane
		I hate these throat inspections every time the rat comes up missing. [votes: 16]	Ken
	Honorable Mentions Suddenly, kareoke night went terribly wrong.... [votes: 15] AAAAOOOO, Werewolves of London. [votes: 13] Look Ma, no cavities! [votes: 13] I'm not yelling, YOU'RE yelling! [votes: 11] Cards!....Sox!....Cards!....Sox!....Cards!.... [votes: 10] Can you hear me now?! [votes: 10] Wild thing...you make make my heart sing! [votes: 9] Any squirrel in my teeth? [votes: 8] Oh My God!!! Habanero Peppers do not make good chew toys. [votes: 8] Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer... [votes: 7] They're called crest whitestrips, all you do is... [votes: 5] ...and the spoon said..."that's no laddle, that's my knife.!" "AHHHH-HAHAHA!!!" [votes: 5] Tastes great... less filling... [votes: 4] It was a Halloween of the worst kind, the vampires started turning on each other!!! [votes: 4] Looks like we are going as dracula again. [votes: 4] Contestants from "the Swan" compare their new smiles. [votes: 3] No matter how hard I brush, I can't get this muck off of the roof of my mouth. [votes: 3] Feelings!!! Nothing more than Feelings...!! [votes: 3] Two out of three vets recommend Colgate. [votes: 2] Carl: Are you always this popular? Van Helsing: Pretty much. [votes: 2] Fighting over the leftover candy was getting more and more serious. [votes: 1]

Results from Contest # 91 [October 24, 2004 - 200 entries]

		... and this one time at band camp... [votes: 20]	anon
		Can't we just stop and ASK for directions? [votes: 15]	cooper
		Are we there yet? [votes: 14]	loki
	Honorable Mentions Are you gellin? [votes: 12] You just had to keep herding, didn't ya? Well now we're lost! [votes: 11] Excuse me missy, do you like short men? [votes: 9] If I take one more step Mr Frodo..that will be the farthest I've ever been away from home. [votes: 9] Again you have to pee? Didn't I tell you not to drink all that water? [votes: 8] Why'd you do it Spike? Why'd ya eat grandma's cat? [votes: 8] Are you sure there's such a thing as "snipes"? [votes: 7] We're off to see the wizard... the wonderful wizard of OZ... [votes: 7] On the road again... [votes: 7] Oooooh, look what you did to the plants! [votes: 6] Follow the yellow brick road. [votes: 6] Um Jack, the man at the pub warned us to stay on the path! Something about werewolves? [votes: 6] Hey, if I had a thumb, I'd put it up, OK?? [votes: 5] That skunk leave a bad taste in your mouth too? [votes: 5] So, tell me about this sheep fetish you have... [votes: 4] I'm glad you chose the "low road" with me... [votes: 3] I think this needs a little watering... Jack, do you gotta go? [votes: 3] This Pumpkin patch really bites! [votes: 3] I know TOTO and you are no TOTO. [votes: 3] Oh crap, I stepped on something! [votes: 3] Hey Jack, Something's wacky about these plants. [votes: 3] Think this bush qualifies as a rest area? [votes: 2] Oh yeah? I've got your "kong" right here! [votes: 2] Hey Bobby, you had enough of the straight and narrow? [votes: 2] Jack warned his friend to never stray from the beaten path. [votes: 2] Oh Squirrel, Where art Thou? [votes: 1] "My tongue's bigger!!!" "No mine is!" [votes: 1]

Results from Contest # 90 [October 17, 2004 - 230 entries]

		I'm the Jack of the world! [votes: 19]	zoe
		Captain, where is the poop deck? [votes: 18]	Dave
		...and I'm leaving FLORIDA for good!!! [votes: 15]	brandy
	Honorable Mentions Nude Beach! Nude Beach! [votes: 12] Dang. I'll never be able to pee over the side...they're going to be pissed! [votes: 12] Are we there yet??? [votes: 10] Should I let him know that we lost the skier? [votes: 10] Arrrr, Capt'n, there be groundhogs here. [votes: 10] Jack contemplates the consequences of voting against his alliance...... [votes: 10] Why do I keep hearing, "A Three Hour Tour"? [votes: 8] Sure hope I don't get any tan lines from this life jacket. [votes: 8] Stop the boat! Owner Overboard!!! [votes: 7] Land ho!!! [votes: 6] All paws on deck! [votes: 6] Jack, not knowing boats too well, thought he was actually driving. [votes: 5] Captain, read my compass - Tail and ear pointing south!!! [votes: 5] Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip... [votes: 5] Restrooms......as far as the eye can see! [votes: 5] You're gonna need a bigger boat! [votes: 5] Julie! I'll never forget you! I'll be back! [votes: 3] Jack wonders...is 'to Dolphin' considered a Sporting or Natural Certificate? [votes: 3] This looks like a good place to make that dirty, land-lubbin' woodchuck walk the plank! [votes: 3] Catfish to the starboard, Captain. [votes: 2] He's gone under the boat, I think he's gone under the boat! [votes: 1]

Results from Contest # 89 [October 10, 2004 - 249 entries]

		Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right NOW! [votes: 51]	Kelly (plus 48 others)
		Now you know how it feels when I'm trying to go and you keep walking. [votes: 30]	Jason
		Run for your lives... SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!!! [votes: 18]	baileyboy23
	Honorable Mentions Where will you be when your diarrhea comes back? [votes: 14] OK hurry, we are going to miss my race!!!! [votes: 10] Jack suddenly wished he didn't have such a keen sense of smell. [votes: 10] Finally one's open...why do bitches take so long in the john? [votes: 9] This lead isn't long enough for what's about to happen in there!! [votes: 7] What I wouldn't give for a tree... [votes: 6] I feel sorry for the next guy!! [votes: 6] Jack misunderstood what his owner meant by "pull my finger." [votes: 6] Oh, Dear........that kind of noise ain't natural.... [votes: 5] Come on Mom, we don't have to do everything together! [votes: 5] Do not go in there! [votes: 4] Someone had to many snawsages!!!!!!! [votes: 3] Not again!!! [votes: 3] Oh no, this is worse than having toilet paper stuck on my feet! [votes: 2] Hey, one of these will look better if I put it over there!! [votes: 2] Not exactly a horse drawn carriage... [votes: 1] I think I can, I think I can . . . [votes: 1]

Results from Contest # 88 [October 3, 2004 - 323 entries]

		OK, fake handoff to bullet, then a screen pass left to thunder...BREAK! [votes: 19]	cooper
		I tell you, there is no shame in having prick ears. [votes: 15]	Marie
		I'm only gonna say this one more time!! Look before you POOP!!! [votes: 14]	amyofcourse
	Honorable Mentions On the Count of Two the Bay Horse goes Long and the Rest of You Block. [votes: 11] Jack finally stopping barking when he realized he was a little hoarse. [votes: 11] "...and he said he was having you gelded. If that's what I think it is, it's not good." [votes: 9] Hey guys, why the long faces? [votes: 8] "So this man walks into a bar"..stop me if you've heard it!!! [votes: 8] ... and I promise not to raise taxes, and cheap vet care for everyone. [votes: 8] "... and the jockey says 'that's no race horse, that's my wife!'" [votes: 7] We know you're guilty Jack, we saw where you hid the bones. [votes: 6] Okay, you win, you place and you show, and we all split the winnings... [votes: 6] Can anyone block here??... I'm getting my tail handed to me! [votes: 6] "No, it goes like this....A horse is a horse, of course of course..." [votes: 6] I'll trade the carrots I dug up for mouse time in each stall. Deal? [votes: 5] I REPEAT... "I did not have sexual relations.. with... that .. philly!" [votes: 5] I got some bad news... they were talking about glue.... [votes: 4] Greetings. I come in peace. Please take me to your leader. [votes: 4] Are you all feeling a bit horse?? [votes: 4] Why don't you just pick on someone your own size? [votes: 4] Jack found that his "horse face" comments got him in a precarious situation. [votes: 4] Now THIS is what I call an Offensive Line! [votes: 3] Um...neigh? [votes: 3] Sugar, will you do me the honor of accepting this rose? [votes: 1] If he talked any louder, Jack could not be called The Horse Whisperer! [votes: 1]

Results from Contest # 87 [September 26, 2004 - 256 entries]

		How long should I let him look for the ball... before I tell him I'm sitting on it? [votes: 36]	jim62367
		You threw it, you get it. [votes: 24]	Winnie's Mom
		Next week...on the Amazing Race. [votes: 15]	Jill
		Can you hear me Now?? [votes: 15]	Randi
	Honorable Mentions ... and bring me back one of those bacon treats too... [votes: 12] You left me in the crate last nite, how the heck do I know where you left the truck? [votes: 9] There he goes again! Thinks he's Moses or something. [votes: 8] Actual photographic proof of the 'mail man mirage'. [votes: 7] Should I tell him north is the other direction? [votes: 6] Jeez!, I think he's forgotten the release command! [votes: 6] Hey!! I was joking!! Noo!! Come back!! I was just kidding!! [votes: 5] Oh cmon' Timmy... was it something I chewed? [votes: 5] Who are you kidding - you know we're lost! [votes: 5] Shane! Come back Shane! [votes: 4] Some Beach !!! [votes: 4] I can't believe you let him off the leash! [votes: 4] R2D2...come baaaaack!!! [votes: 4] Hey stupid! You're going the wrong way! [votes: 4] Run Forrest Run [votes: 3] I'm crushing your head! [votes: 2] "You let me know how that works out for you....." [votes: 2] That's even more dirt than I can handle... [votes: 1] Now I know I buried that bone somewhere !! [votes: 1] It's a long way to Tipperary... [votes: 1] Jack and Jill went up the hill... [votes: 1]

Results from Contest # 86 [September 19, 2004 - 186 entries]

		What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. [votes: 16]	Jill
		You know our parents will never accept this relationship. [votes: 11]	Hoppy
		Aww c'mon George... aren't ya curious? [votes: 11]	Greggo
		Step away from the monkey! [votes: 11]	Suz3t
	Honorable Mentions Repeat after me... "This never happened". [votes: 10] 1, 2, 3..... and the monkey's pinned!!! [votes: 9] The Curious George Story that was never told. [votes: 9] How can something so wrong feel so right. [votes: 8] Just leave the bones outside the door and I'll let him go. [votes: 8] Don't even think about it. Get your own monkey, this one is all mine! [votes: 8] He was finnally able to get that monkey off his Jack. [votes: 8] Kiss me, you fool. [votes: 7] Who's your daddy?! [votes: 6] Now I lay me down to sleep, a dead monkey on my bed to keep... [votes: 6] Baby, I really do love you...the other stuffie was just...a fling.... [votes: 6] Hold still - this won't hurt a bit. [votes: 6] I 'ruv my monkey [votes: 6] I finally got that monkey off my back! [votes: 4] Thanks for letting me chew your ear for a while! [votes: 4] Come on, baby... I ship out to Iraq tomorrow... [votes: 4] Do you smmmeeellll what the Jack is cookin? [votes: 3] Coco's the only one that understands me... [votes: 3] I'm Jack and I endorsed this photo. [votes: 3] This is my woobie!! [votes: 3] The apple doesn't fall far from the tree... [votes: 1] Say uncle. [votes: 1] Those cold winter nights! [votes: 1]

Results from Contest # 85 [September 12, 2004 - 200 entries]

		... and the rat I cornered was THIS BIG! [votes: 63]	Hannah's girl
		They keep talking about Patty's Cake... I can taste it now. [votes: 31]	Jakes mom
		Count Jack-ula! [votes: 22]	cooper
	Honorable Mentions Pull my finger. [votes: 21] 1, 2, 3, 4 ... I declare a thumb war! [votes: 18] They won't think I'm so cute once I pee on the carpet! [votes: 12] Yeah, you just THINK you are trimming these toe nails!!!! [votes: 9] I was framed, I tell ya, Framed!!!!!!! [votes: 9] Even at this early age... the eyes say it all... BEWARE, I am JACK. [votes: 8] Raise your paws if you're SURE!!!! [votes: 7] Trusting Jack doesn't realize he's being prepped for neutering. [votes: 6] The book says don't mess with my Ears, Paws or Tail or you'll get to meet my little Razor teeth. [votes: 5] My fellow Americans, I am not a crook! [votes: 5] Bite me. [votes: 4] Who are you people and why are you touching me? [votes: 4] Now turn your head and cough! [votes: 3] Which one of you did I inherit these ears from? [votes: 3] Uh oh... I think this is some kind of intervention... [votes: 2] Please, I can only dance with one of you at a time... [votes: 2] I don't want to dance. [votes: 1] Hey Guys... Let's Just Paws For Thought Here... [votes: 1] Tango anyone? [votes: 1] I am NOT a finger puppet! [votes: 1] Cute but vicious when tempted.

Results from Contest # 84 [September 5, 2004 - 191 entries]

		Who ordered a Jack & Coke??	Scott B
		Skipper, I saved the wine.....here Ginger....who's your daddy?	Stan
		WILSON!!! I'm Sorry!	Toney
	Honorable Mentions Curse you Mark from 12 Maple Lane!!!!! How many times do I need to remind him to recycle!!?? Don't tell me, another message in a bottle. The only known, clear picture of the infamous Loch Ness Monster! Is there pee in this lake? There is now! The message in this bottle, says --- Buy more scooby snacks, ASAP! Now lets see a cat do this. oooohh.... I think I just swam through a warm spot! I found Wilson. yo ho ho! I found a bottle of rum! Land, Land, I finally see Land! He watched the olympics for way too long... Sh*t--- I thought it was Wild Turkey. The weather started getting rough, the mighty Jack was tough! I hope I get 3 wishes!! I want a kong, a new chew toy, a...... How about I enjoy that Corona and you work your tail off. I saw. I swam. I saved. Take it from me, a little hair of the dog will help!

Results from Contest # 83 [August 29, 2004 - 341 entries]

		Hope that human is enjoying his night sleep ... in the CRATE.	kellystein
		As I lay me down to sleep, I pray those rats at bay to keep.	Dave
		These Olympic volleyball players need to be shown how to really DIG.	Greggo
	Honorable Mentions Why are all the shows on Animal Planet about cats today? ooooppps.......I think I wet the bed. Life is good. You're fired! What the hell did I do last night... what happened to all my dollar bills? I want my MTV! I don't feel well.... NO! DO NOT check my temperature!!!! Now lets see. Yesterday Sally was going to tell Tony she was having his pups, err I mean baby. That six flags guy needs some serious help before he has a heart attack. I just love my soap opera....The Young and the Russelless. The day after the Nationals party. I'm too sick to go to school today mom...feel my nose, it's hot! Jackie finds herself mesmerized by the shine off of Dr. Phil's head. If only I had a bell. And I need my toast cut up into little squares, too. I can't believe I'm home again on a friday night. And to think I believed him when he said he was staying the night.

Results from Contest # 82 [August 22, 2004 - 250 entries]

		How male dogs pee when you're not around.	Brian
		Suddenly, Jack realized that his yard was really just one big crate.	mk
		G-R-R-R- did I miss my flat race?	Riskismom
	Honorable Mentions I hate these rabbit proof fences. Why do I bother, you never post any of mine anyways... and they are funny.... Anyone see my horse? They say the dirt is always looser on the other side of the fence... "Always look on the bright side of life...." Heeeeere, chicken, chicken, chicken.... The grass is always greener... I'm so tired of the grass always being greener on the other side. "Don't fence me in......." I'd like to crap over there! "gotta go gotta go gotta go right now, gotta go gotta go gotta go..." What's Your Name? He'll write it in the grass. Hmm...climb or dig? Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. Ok, I got out, but ..........how do I get back in ???? G-R-R-R- did I miss my flat race ? Living next to a golf course has livened up Jack's enjoyment for balls. Batter, Batter, Batter, Swing ! I see dead cats.

Results from Contest # 81 [August 16, 2004 - 386 entries]

		Where will you be when your diarrhea comes back?	Scotty in Iraq
		I think I found the cat!! (See contest #80) =)	Amy
		I like big butts and I cannot lie, all you other Jacks can't deny....	Rammer
	Honorable Mentions Honey....I was just kidding when I said you first. Is this really the best position for the Vet to do the annual worm check??? C'mon out, I'm not gonna hurt ya!! (I just wanna chew on ya a little...) Boy, do I feel like an ass! Sunny side up! Could you please stop laughing and pull me out of here? Bottoms up!! OK, who packed my parachute?! I've lost my head!!!!!! Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places! Jack got back! Talk to the butt. Can you hear me now? Water and fertilize, then watch Jack grow. ...and for our next yoga pose, begin downward facing dog... Pull my feet. Put your best face forward... I found something spelled - S.E.P.T.I.C. The crop of Jacks look good this year. Ok now I'm in trouble- Mom noticed the cat's gone. Gettin' diggy wit it. The mouse that hath but one hole is quickly taken. HMMMM, what a strange sundial......I see it's a little after nine. I thought I planted tiger lilies... Sadly this is the last thing most owners ever see of their Jack. I know! I'm the butt of your jokes.

Results from Contest # 80 [August 8, 2004 - 248 entries]

		Now where'd we bury that cat?	tldavis
		"Bring out your Jacks!! Bring out your Jacks!!"	anon
		Please keep your paws inside the ride at all times.	Lou
	Honorable Mentions Still cruising for sticks! Members of the DNC leave Boston. Next stop is the Republican Convention!! Look out New York here we come!! Has everyone gone to the bathroom before we leave? Don't you just hate public transportation? What's 'manure'? "Avast ye swabs....shiver me timbers." I know - we're in the back yard but I always wanted to say that. Roll out the barrel! The first crop of terriers is always the most delicious. Okay Gang It's Time for Trading Spaces, lets redo Buddy's room first!!! On the road again... I'm driving?! I THOUGHT you were driving! A dog gone pile up. Everyone out! It's a trap! IT'S A KITTY BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Terriers' portayal of George Washington crossing the Delaware. Boldy Going Where No Jack Russell Has Gone Before Will Have Fun, Fun, Fun,...Till Our Daddy Takes Our Wheelbarrow Away!!! We're really gonna have to invest in some new wheels!!!! This isn't exactly what I pictured when he said "Let's go four-wheeling." Land off the starboard, Captain! Got Jacked! I've never been on a cruise ship, but I'm pretty sure this ain't it. Iceberg, straight ahead! Hey, do we still have room for the cute chick? I hope the neighbor dogs don't see us. You wheel us to the dirt, we'll do the rest. Lets give this garden a make over to remember!

Results from Contest # 79 [August 1, 2004 - 190 entries]

		A cat?!? You got a cat to strip for us?	anon
		Make a wish honey! *I wish that I had a bigger cake*	KrissyLyn
		Norm!	kld
	Honorable Mentions I wish we were playing poker... Okay, here's the cake, now where's the strippers? Spike sure knows how to throw a party, but........a cat stripper?? Hey Waiter!!!....... Don't Forget Our Doggie Bag..... Make a wish-bone! It not my Birthday, my mom acts weird sometimes. Happy birthday to me, ain't sharing cake with thee! Where's the Jack Daniels? Oh, sure, you give us a tiny cake with one candle, and I'm 5! You treat us like dogs! Hey, who invited the lakeland? Dogs night in. Anybody got a deck of cards? What is this about? Bring back the poker chips! I hope the filling is rat flavored! Party Hats !! We need Party Hats !! What do you mean "no ice cream?" Where's the beef ?! "..You smell like a doggie and you look like one too..." Got plates? What do you have to do to get some service around here? AGM meeting in MD..... Hey Larry; potato chips? You were supposed to bring POKER CHIPS!

Results from Contest # 78 [July 25, 2004 - 209 entries]

		What happens in Vegas...stays in Vegas!	Rocko's Mom
		The Truth Behind the Nielson Ratings.	Bakerman
		After 3 shots of toilet bowl punch Jack will never live this one down.	anon
	Honorable Mentions I am so glad my grandpappy ain't alive to see this!!! After a long night of drinking, you'll never know who you wake up next to. Once he saw this photo, Senator Jack realized his run for the White House was in jeopardy. Now we know who is ordering all the Pay-per-View shows. Under the influence...of too much free time. Coyote Ugly. What's new pussycat, whoa, whoa, whoa! We're beat! It took us all day to get the VCR to stop blinking 12:00. All day it's "Get the phone, boy." and "Hey kitty, find the remote." It's all very tiring. New meaning for the phrase "Cold Shoulder"! Can You Hear Me Now???? I'd never click and tell. Catnap-Doggone. Do you hate velcro as much as I do? Two contestants take a break in the shedding competition.

Results from Contest # 77 [July 18, 2004 - 232 entries]

		If he calls me "little buddy" one more time....	Patrick B
		If I get it on board..and it's stinky and slimy, can I KEEP it?	Ken
		Orphaned at birth, Jack was raised by a pack of Newfoundlands...	clover ann
	Honorable Mentions You know... this would a lot easier if i had help. Tug boat. I'm not going swimming in there... let go of the lead! What a fish story this is gonna be. I caught a Catfish. I told him to wait 30 minutes after he ate! Humans...they never listen! "Join the Navy and see the world," the recruiter said. He forgot this part. OK, now to see if I can hold 2 skiers up.....hit the gas !!! A captain is only as good as his First Mate. "Stop the rockin" while I'm dockin"! We're (grunt) going to need (grunt) a bigger boat. Finding Nemo. What do you mean "A Three Hour Tour?" Who is Gilligan? One more step .... and I'll drain this lake. A specialist was brought in to, RAISE THE TITANIC!!! Don't MAKE me turn this boat around !! Theme from Jaws ...

Results from Contest # 76 [July 11, 2004 - 218 entries]

		Hare today, Gone tomorrow.	Jeff and Woofit
		Bunny, I'm home!	Heidi
		The things you'll do for a little tail!	luckyduck326
	Honorable Mentions No thanks mom, I'll get dinner myself. Max, take it man! there's a file inside! For God's sake, you can be out tonight! You're lucky I don't have opposable thumbs. Fatal Attraction? Ssshhh....be vewy vewy quiet......i'm huntin' wabbit! Come here you cute giant prick eared rat. Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Cage Lickin Good!! Forgot my easter basket, eh? If you look at it this way, it looks even tastier! "Get the carrot... too slow! Get the carrot... too slow!" Roll over! wwhheenn ddiidd yyoouu eelleeccttrriiffyy tthhee ccaaggee???? You have HOW many brothers and sisters.....? Please do not feed the animals. Like taking candy from a baby ! Everyone says I shed!!! Look at all that hare! Here comes Jackie Wagging Tail, stealing carrots from Bunny's jail! Mom always said....eat your salad first, before you eat the main course! psst...there's a file in the middle. darn kids, I knew I'd end up taking care of their pet. It worked in the movie Troy!

Results from Contest # 75 [July 4, 2004 - 277 entries]

		You've got tail!	John R.
		I use to chase cats.... now I push a mouse!	Donna
		One click, and the cat's on eBay!	Greggo
	Honorable Mentions No, no, I swear I didn't order anything...we got HOW MANY cases of Scooby Snacks yesterday? hey, I want to see if my friends are in the chat room. No...I wanted to "chase" a mouse...duh. I'm busy - go ask your mother. I did the finances and you do have plenty of money for dog treats and toys. Can you give me a minute, I am trying to submit my caption! You just saved a ton of money on your car insurance by switching to Geico! The JRTCA Webmaster at work. www.myownerdressesmefunny.com Muahaha, the others in the chat room think I'm some human called 'Snarlin'. My uh uddah paw? Why do ya ask? College students' proof that their dog really did destroy their term paper! Now... my biscuits can be used as a deduction, right?? I love the JRTCA website - so many pictures of pretty girls!!! Nobody knows your a dog on the internet. I hate pop ups! Meet the real chat room monitor. My Manager is a bitch. Ok... I'll file your extension, but you have to walk me first! Yes, I know you're hungry... I'm exiting the chatroom now. Sorry sweetie, I dont have time to paws my work to talk to you! Is that me on the Jack Russell Terrier caption page? Right - this is the last time I show you - highlight the text and then click on Bold... Yes, I'm tweaking my pedigree again! Yes, we can afford to go to Nationals. It's Carpel Tunnel time, it's Carpel Tunnel time!

Results from Contest # 74 [June 27, 2004 - 245 entries]

		Pardon me, are you feeling a little horse today?	Terrier Treatz
		Why the long face?	Jeff (and many others)
		Yeah, yeah... win, place or show?	Luanne
	Honorable Mentions Wanna race? So, who's the favourite in the Kentucky Derby? Who you calling little? Come on, just one ride. Are you my mommy? ...and your mama wears a saddle! Why the long face? Wanna horse around? Kiss me you fool. ...dont drink the water, I was a 16hh Paint Horse just yesterday! That's a really nice fence. Pardon me, but do you have any grey poupon? The Horse Whisperer. Well, hellooo down there. I dare ya to come over this fence! Size doesn't matter. You can have the hay, but all the small furry things are all mne, okay? So...do you like really know the "real Seabiscuit"? Howdy, Neighhhhhhhhhbor! And then I chased the frisbee, then I ate lunch, then I chased the frisbee...

Results from Contest # 73 [June 20, 2004 - 230 entries]

		Ass Fault	Jimbo
		Did anyone get the licence plate # of that truck?	anon
		Get your kicks.....on Route 66.	Stan
	Honorable Mentions Wow, this feels good for my chaffing. On the road again... DEAD END Hit the road, Jack! I told you I don't walk after mile marker 4, Bob. Oh poor me...oh my legs...little chipmunk...I'm crippled. Come help! Leave me alone! I'm exfoliating! Never lay down on the hot road...never lay down on the hot road... OOOOOHHHH! That feels good!! Show Me The Way To Go Home!!....I'm Tired And I Wanna Go To Bed... I've fallen and I can't get up! Tired? Who's tired?! Throw it again! I gotta flat!! So this is easy street. I can dig it. Ah, the road less traveled. I'm too sexy for my tail......to sexy for my tail. Note to self: I run out of gas before cars do. Just let them squirrels try to cause an accident! Look cool, look cool... Just say Hi when she comes by, that's all... Wait, wait get my best side...okay I'm ready. Are we there yet? As a matter of fact, I DO own this sidewalk! Just a second, Rome wasn't built in one day... Carry me to your leader. You better call Triple A. OK, who unhooked my trailer.....? Yes! I finally got that itch! See, nice thighs even after two litters!

Results from Contest # 72 [June 13, 2004 - 239 entries]

		Look buster, I'm the earth dog here. Why don't you go retrieve a decoy or something.	oopsa
		...and utilities are included!!	Hannah's girl
		Where Jack Russells come from.	Rufus
	Honorable Mentions This is the third time I buried him... I guess your gonna 'retrieve' me now? That's the last time we'll be coming watch Dad play golf! We really did it! I see the Great Wall of China! Password please! Sorry, terriers only. I refuse to come out until you apologize! Wait.... I think we are doing this GTG thing wrong.... let me consult the JRTCA trial booklet. ... and then the fox comes out like this, and then you chase it, 'kay? Sometimes I just wanna crawl into a hole. Squatters rights... Never know what one can find in the ground these days. Ok, one more time big guy......you retriever, Me terrier...........this is my gig!!! Now, when you get to the fork, hang a left...make a right after that, and it'll be there. I didn't realized this hole was taken. Welcome to China, do you have anything to declare? I hope your name is "LIGHT", cause you're at the end of my tunnel. Bad news Ben.....I think I found the septic tank. I didn't say you COULDN'T, I said you SHOULDN'T! No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! I don't want to meet the squirrel who dug that hole! Russell Rescue...... He said "go get your bowl", not "go dig a hole!!!" Now Datsa A Bigga Hole You Gotta There Oh, you are a vixen, aren't you?

Results from Contest # 71 [June 6, 2004 - 173 entries]

		Green means go; yellow means slow.	Mojo
		... and then this one time at band camp...	anon
		You take the high road, and I'll take the low road, and I'll be in Scotland afore ye!	Ruby's Ma
	Honorable Mentions Oh my god! He finally proposed?!? Thats so sweet! I'm training for the New York Marathon...sorry, no time to stop and talk.... That bottle of Scope did wonders, our breath truly IS minty fresh! And the Triple Crown winner is ... Hopefully, the trail of bread crumbs will lead us back!! You're going to run into something if you keep talking while you run and jump! Hey baby ! Want to go chase squirrels? Your collar is so ugly. No your collar is so ugly. You should try Red Bull..... it gives you wings! Quincy can be so animated when he is telling a story. We wouldn't BE Lost if YOU would have asked for directions. Like, omigosh! Can you believe it?! I totally made the varsity cheer squad! Did ya see the TAIL on that dam?!?!?! Over the river and through the woods... Don't even think about it! Jack be nimble, Jack be quick! Jerry, you're wearing a bra! ...It's a HARNESS, Sally! ...and she went like THIS when she jumped over that hurdle. I guess we shouldn't have ate that last power bar!

Results from Contest # 70 [May 30, 2004 - 188 entries]

		That step gets me every time.	JB
		If this is your idea of sharing the bed, I won't even ask to split dessert.	Superchikk
		But it's the only way I can make the room stop spinning.	RC
	Honorable Mentions Here she comes. Just act natural! What the heck was in those Kongs last night??? I hate those dreams when it feels like you are falling... oops it was real! Watch that first step! Talk to the butt. I've fallen and can't get up. Could you call the chiropractor? I can't take it any more, I just can't take it! We need to change his food! I just can't do it captain, I'm just too tired! i hate the lower bunk!!!! I'm filing for divorce!!!! How Siamese twins sleep. You know it is going to be a bad day when... Maybe, if I sneak out, she won't notice I've gone for a drink from the toilet. Arrgg! My legs fell asleep! Safe at home plate!! Max was sure he was pushed!, but Delilah seemed to be fast asleep... One tequila, two tequila, three tequila...FLOOR! Yeah, the minute they open the refrigerator door we'll just see who gets there first. Should have never asked her if she gained some weight! I have not been eating crackers!!! Someone hit the rewind button quick!

Results from Contest # 69 [May 23, 2004 - 234 entries]

		Help, I'm surrounded by tabloids!!	Dave
		Well it's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and it's my turn to go...	Luanne
		Gotta Go...Gotta Go..Gotta Go Right Now!!!!!!	Leslie
	Honorable Mentions The boys react to their new owner's "will you be able to hold it through the night?" question. Room service, we need room service now! Hey! It says in the classifieds that we are for sale?!?! Jacks in the box. He won't stop staring at me, He thinks he's a border collie again! I want to SING. I want to dance. Look under "Loving Humans Wanted" section! Hey, I'm the one on the right, these guys think they can read, but they only look at the pictures. Ha! What's black and white and yellow all over? AHHHHHHH... I'm sitting in pee and its not mine! Yeah, yeah, we know, poop on the paper not on the bed, poop on the paper not on the bed! I just can't pee with this guy watching me! Crappy news these days. Newspapers?!? Not in this day and age . . . I want mouse pads, we all want mouse pads! Got Milk? 3 Dog Night comes out of retirement for one last gig. Where are the comics?

Results from Contest # 68 [May 16, 2004 - 154 entries]

		I don't think our parents will approve.	Alexis
		Deer Lick.	anon
		Is there a Funny Cide to this picture?	Mary
	Honorable Mentions It tastes just like chicken. Open wide... ah, I see, you're just a little hoarse. Stop foaling around and come play with me.... Colt Malt Licker. And our folks said it wouldnt last... Heaven, I'm in heaven when we're dancing cheek to cheek. What flavor are you? Kiss me you fool. Horse got your tongue?!?! Tastes like my ass... wait... this IS my ass! Alas their love affair had to end, Jack was too afraid of making an 'ass' of himself. Once again, proof that taking a "triple dog dare you" will end badly. Foreign relations.

Results from Contest # 67 [May 9, 2004 - 281 entries]

		Okay, Okay when do we get the flock out of here.	Frank
		Three against one? Holy sheep!	JC
		The tribal council vote is obvious.	Survivor Fan
	Honorable Mentions I am a Border Collie; I am a Border Collie; .............. Babs, you go left , I'll go right & we'll fool this imposter. Okay be calm, stay still, make like a cow pattie. They'll never see me. So what do ewe think it is?? See, I told you I'm the black sheep of the family. Now do you believe me? DON'T MOVE! I've lost a contact lens! Baaaaad dog, baaaaaaad dog. Hi, I'm Todo... Am I still in Kansas? Bill, Fred look...I told you trying to clone us would never work. Jacks Rule -- Border Collies Drool! Son, just because it followed you home, doesn't mean you can keep it. Maybe if I lay real still, I can have a leg of lamb for lunch.... Jack quit trying to bolt the sheep... they aren't included on the list of approved quarry! Look Bob, we're not stupid you know! You can't fool us with your "I'm not a sheepdog" routine! Ewe talkin' to me? Baaad move! You can't pull the wool over my eyes! Listen sheep, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk? Shep & the boys ponder... It's black & white... but won't rollover? Good grief - how much longer til they go to ground? Hey Mabel, I think Farmer Brown went cheap on the border collie this time... Touch it? I'm not going to touch it. You touch it. No way. If I take out the big one on the left maybe the other two will follow, them being sheep and all. Ewe and Ewe, cover me. I'm going to check it out. Wow!!! So this is where those chew toys come from!

Results from Contest # 66 [May 2, 2004 - 190 entries]

		I am the new bark-o-lounger. Get used to it.	anon
		Nine times around that agility course. Nine times! Insane!	Belle
		Hold on....I'll be recharged in a minute.	Mandy
	Honorable Mentions So this is what dad does all day at work! This is the last mountain I will ever climb. Paws and Reflect. I was sneaking sips out of mommy's glass and (hic) all the sudden the room started spinning. Thank God it's Monday and they went to work...no ball chasing or frizbee catching for 5 days. I saw this on "Trading Spaces" A Jack Russell slip cover! Household Motto: Let's let the sleeping dog lie. Bills to pay, a family to feed... we working dogs get no respect. Too much work makes Jack a dull dog. My impersonation of a throw pillow. It's the new Lazy-Dog Recliner.... JR not included... How did I get up here? I swear I'll never touch another drop! Hey, being a stud ain't as easy as I thought! Houston, we have a problem.......will not recline! Ate the cat, destroyed the sofa, chewed 3 pair of shoes... I'm pooped! 10 more minutes mom! "The Apprentice" is just getting good! Honey, bring me a cold one! The morning after his bachelor party, this is where they found him. I can't believe she left me for a Fox Terrier!

Results from Contest # 65 [April 25, 2004 - 305 entries]

		...and here is the last photograph we ever got of Polly...	Dietzie
		Do I really have to give thanks first?	Chester
		I don't care what the breeder told you. That is not a Jack Russell.	Shannon
	Honorable Mentions I will not be repeating my warning bird-dog. I said I won't be repeating my... Note to self.... Stay away from my master's liquor cabinet. Say buddy, could you spare a cracker? Polly want a cracker, Jack? Damn bird hasn't stopped talking yet! She said "Look at the birdie", I didn't think she meant it literally!! How do you shut this thing off? If I hear it say, "Hello!" again I'm going to scream! If I don't see him, he isn't there. He's actually offering me birdseed to chase the cat down the street!! Polly wanna cracker? I'm dying for some parrot. Did he just say "Walkies"??! It was just a peck on the cheek...honest!! You got to be kidding me! This is my new room mate? Never trust a smiling Jack. Who's a pretty boy then?? Keep you eye on the birdie. He's about to disappear. hee hee hee. Is that a feather in your lips? Hey, where's Petey? Look at me when I'm talk'n to you! He just said the cat called me a poodle !!! Are you SURE he doesn't taste like chicken? The cat thinks that you're an idiot! A little birdie told me!!! Two birds? No no - there were never two.... Say hello to my leetle friend. Jack fakes a smile at Polly's stupid jokes. Yes, I'm from South America...you say your ancestors are from England? I can't believe they let a bird sit on the furniture.

Results from Contest # 64 [April 18, 2004 - 215 entries]

		Damn, wish I didn't bet my treats on the Yankees.	Loki
		No Bone for me... Meditate, breathe, be calm.. Go to my happy place... Just go to my happy place.	JB
		And... you're telling me that's all that's left of the neighbor's cat?!	Zips
	Honorable Mentions Son, I love you, but you're not getting my bud light... errr steak bone. Beat it kid! You're bothering me. Dear Lord, forgive me for what I'm about to do! Mom said to SHARE!!! Man, I hate sloppy seconds.... Too bad you're on Weight Watchers...this rawhide is to DIE for.... Do you even *know* how many calories are in those things? Get your elbows off the table. When it crosses the big blue stripe, its yours! Next, get your Queen some grapes.......and a palm branch to fan me with. Thanks, cabana boy...just charge it to my room....and put a little something on there for you too. Share or I'm telling mom where her shoes went!! Are these diagonal or horizontal stripes? I don't feel well...I see spots. Don Corleone...I've come to ask a favor. Gads, this upholstery gives me a sick headache. A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, you know.... How many points is that on Weight Watchers? No, I don't want any - I'm just admiring your technique. Give me a piece of that bone Rodney or I am going to express my anal glands!!!!!!!!

Results from Contest # 63 [April 11, 2004 - 236 entries]

		Really, mom, we were just watching TV.	Charlie
		What time did they say the races start?	Dagwood
		We're Sick...feel my clammy paw.	Patrick
	Honorable Mentions Get that thing away from me! Help me, I can't get the remote. Let Sleeping Dogs Lie. Please Mom! Just 5 more minutes!!! Pull my finger... Once again the paparazzi catches Quincy and a friend in a compromising situation. Talk to the paw! Once again I will not disscuss my relationship with J-lo! Okay Honey, right after the game's over! No comment. You ain't woman enough to take my man! I give this movie four thumbs up! Was I snoring? If you are my wife's Private Eye, this is my sister visiting from Toledo. Take a number. I'm sorry, Martha has no comment. What good is a TV remote without an opposable thumb?

Results from Contest # 62 [April 4, 2004 - 193 entries]

		What dogs do when we turn our backs.	Tony
		I shund't uf at tha peanut butduh samwich!	cgn03
		Are you gonna eat that french fry?	Laura
	Honorable Mentions Ooh! Popsicles! I love popsicles. Hurry up!!!!!! I cant pose like this forever just to get into the caption contest! I just caught a rabbit, I just caught a rabbit! The ball, The ball !!!!!!! THROW the ball !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Role Reversal - a Russell teasing a squirrel. Strike a pose, Vogue! Maybe I can catch that raindrop on my tongue! Pick me, pick me! I don't have a leash on. Run Forrest! Run! That squirrel looks tasty! I know you are but what am? I know you are but what am I? It's a bird. It's a plane. Doesn't matter -- I'll catch it I'm so happy in my yard, I'm so happy in my yard Hey stupid squirrel, here's one of your nuts. Come and get it. heh heh Give me the message, Sir.....I'll get it through the enemy lines!

Results from Contest # 61 [March 28, 2004 - 242 entries]

		This is NOT the way to fix my prick ears!	JLA
		In my Easter bonnet with all the frills upon it.	Deborah
		You want to kisssss me ... you want to huuuuug me!	MisterGuy
	Honorable Mentions Little Dog House on the Prairie. Grandma, what big eyes you have! Looks like its curtains Miss Scarlett. Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride. Ground Control to Major Tom... I may look cute, but do I look happy? In my day, we had to run in 6 feet of snow to chase squirrels....uphill...with no collar.... So where's my $50? You said you'd pay me $50.... Your Honor, I beg forgiveness for Martha Stewart. Frankly Rhett, I am the Dam. . .and you're not the Sire. Not...one...word! No, no...diaper the other end! My Mommy hates me... Hello, and welcome to Dutch county. Jack plays a small part in "The Landing at Plymouth Rock". Sarah, Plain And Tall. The Dingo ate my baby! I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat... Would you like to buy some nice Amish bread? Beauty is as beauty does. Tell me the truth, is it me or what?

Results from Contest # 60 [March 21, 2004 - 248 entries]

		Somehow, I don't think I'm sitting on a big warm cookie!	The Weasel
		Hey, close the door! Where were you raised - in a barn?	George
		Honest, I'm not lookin' for "ground beef", I'm lookin' for ground HOG.	Carol
	Honorable Mentions Stand back ladies...I've got enough lovin' for everyone. Got Milk? They said Daisy's calf was odd looking, but ... OK, you said to wait till the cows came home. They're here, what am I supposed to do with them? Even the dogs are worried about Mad Cow. Eat more chicken. For the last time Bessy, its a "moo" here and a 'moo" there. Ever feel as if you are being watched? I thought he was your kid. Now watch this... this is how you tip a dog. Where's the beef?? "Beef Wellington" ....sounds GREAT! That's the last time I arrange for a double date on that web site! Look tough... look tough... oh darn, I just peed. They followed me home. Can I keep em? huh huh huh Can I, Can I ????? Slowly, I'm moving very slowly. Stop looking at me! I must be having one of those nightmares again... Be wery, wery quiet. I'm hunting wabbits! I hate being lactose intolerant!

Results from Contest # 59 [March 14, 2004 - 190 entries]

		Everyone knows the drill. Once they get in the car then we surround the cat.	josie
		Ok younguns, the car wont start and she's PO'ed. Prepare to do some serious face licking.	Butch
		The Feeders are home! The Feeders are home!	Marissa
	Honorable Mentions Car: $20,000, keys: $20, hiding the keys from your owner... priceless! Here's the story...of a dog named Brady...who was busy with 3 boys of his own. Kids, do not try to figure out humans. See kids, this is how they start acting when they have been snowed in half the winter... Well kids, it looks like Dad is getting another parking ticket. The brake is on the left!.. The brake is on the left! See pups, chasing cars is a dumb idea. She's caught it now and doesn't know what to do with it. That, children, is a stupid human trick! Children, this is why we have to keep them on a lead outside. Lesson #1: Digging is an art. If you have to use a shovel, ya'aint no artist. Can you believe we're all from the same litter? Does he know that hes standing where we "do our buisness?" Mommy, how much is that person in the window? Looks like we picked a good day not to go for a car ride. Which one of you left a present for him on the drivers seat? Short attention span theatre! Getting all your Jacks in a row. Okay, we've had our fun, give her the keys back. That's it! Good human, shovel the driveway so we can go out and do our stuff.

Results from Contest # 58 [March 7, 2004 - 256 entries]

		Oh no, they're home. Ya think they'll notice the parakeet's missing?	anon
		She's your sister??, OK OK .... wait a minute...	roosternj
		The mail carrier's worst nightmare.	Misty
	Honorable Mentions First there was singing Billy Bass, now singing JR heads. We better work this out cause I really got to go!!!!!!! I've got a splitting headache! Here's another fine mess you got us into!! - But I couldn't help it, Ollie, really I couldn't!! Two heads are better than one! Jacks in the box. Who said the hole in the hay bales on the race track was too small? Hey we've been framed! Do i smell possum soup? Age before beauty. OK, maybe this was a dumb idea! What part of Do Not Disturb didn't you understand? Help! Its bath time and we can't get out! Don't worry. I've got your back. Starsky and Hutch are back. Remember when we had whiskers and depth perception? Who Let the Dogs Out? Honey we're home! Bacon, bacon, bacon. We smell BACON!!!! Forget the weather channel... see for yourself! Hay-bale simulator for racing off-season Alright, lets start thinking OUTSIDE the box. Victims of the French revolution. Is this the only way into the Chat Room?

Results from Contest # 57 [February 29, 2004 - 247 entries]

		Who sat on the puppy?	Mel
		Now I know what the back end of a Thong feels like.	j m
		Stuck in the middle with you.	Ann
	Honorable Mentions I still can't find the remote! Crack kills. Mustard, relish, hold the onion, please. Thank goodness for these ears. I'm a celebrity. Get me out of here! See...biscuit...can't...reach... Just leave me a wake up call for the spring trials. Can you see me now? Okay, okay........I give up.....I'll talk......I'll tell you everything! I always seem to fall through the cracks. Why is the hot dog always smaller than the bun??? Thank goodness it's not plumber's crack! The next best thing to go to ground! Who knew rappelling would be so dangerous? Between a rock and a hard place! Journey to the center of the couch. Now I know how a wedgie feels! 1...2...3..Ready or not here I come! Feels just like I'm back with the litter, yawn... Another stain on the couch! Technically I am not on the furniture! If stepping on a crack breaks your mother's back, does this put her in a body cast? Loose change.. loose change... if they won't enter me in conformation... I WILL!!!! Excuse me, but I'm trying to read between the lines .

Results from Contest # 56 [February 22, 2004 - 228 entries]

		Have a seat, we'll start with a few ink blots & then we'll talk about your Mother.	philsmom
		I see dead cats.	Stan
		You are the weakest link. Goodbye!!	loll
	Honorable Mentions Does nearsightedness disqualify me from trials? They said it made me look smarter. Come over here and let me get a better look at you. I just wear these to make my food bowl look bigger. Just wait till your Father gets home. Hey! Watch what you say about me in chat, I can read that over your shoulder you know. I remember when I was a pup and had to walk 3 miles to school, in the snow! It depends on what the definition of 'is' is. Open wide. Hmm. 2 doggie biscuits and call me in the morning. ...and with enough therapy, we should be able to cure your fear of wet dark tunnels! Tell me more about this little red riding hood dream you've been having..... Yes, I read True Grit. Mrs Taft, please send in the next pup. I believe someone is making a spectacle of me! And now children, the proper way to chase cats..... Yes, well you won't be laughing when I break them, will you now? You say you've had these feelings of inferiority since the last show? Damn you, I am so going to eat your shoes for this. Another Jack Russell making a spectacle of himself!

Results from Contest # 55 [February 15, 2004 - 345 entries]

		Sundried JRT	Jill
		It's rumored that if you sunbathe for 15 minutes a day, you become show quality.	Jaz
		For best results, recharge when battery is fully spent.	Hoppydog
	Honorable Mentions Synchronised snoozing! Time to roll over Fred - and get a tan on the other side You think they might extend this sill out someday? How much are the doggies in the window? Ahhh....the dog days of summer! Why do i always get the back end of the deal? When are these people gonna ever buy some furniture?! So, you say the cat did this for hours on end.....what happened to the cat? Tanning beds, who needs em? Here comes the sun!!! I told you this would be cheaper than Hawaii. Wake me when dinner's ready. Me and my shadow. Oh the pane, Oh the pane! I don't know what you had for dinner but it sounds as if it's leaving! Now if this is what you call living on the edge, I love it. I wish someone had told us that Rabbit we were chasing was a Volkswagon. I told you we shouldn't of had those last few shots. Dog Day Afternoon. Next time we stay at the Marriott, I hate it when the bed is too narrow.

Results from Contest # 54 [February 4, 2004 - 342 entries]

		...and then this skunk came out of the hole, he looked at me, I looked at him...	Molly1
		At this moment I AM NOT TAKING CALLS.	deb
		I can't go hunting with you tonight honey, I have to wash my hair.	Hoppydog
	Honorable Mentions If the guys down at the kennel see me like this I'll never live it down. Can you smell me now?... Can you smell me now?.. If you wanted a Chinese Crested, you should have bought one!!!! And you thought you had problems... That one better not make it to the internet. Back away from the tub before somebody gets hurt!!! Do I amuse you? Make sure you get behind my ears. I've just washed my fur and I can't do a thing with it! Ohhhh.......why couldn't i have been sold as pet quality.....I hate the grooming!! Don't even say it. You should see the other guy! But dead animal smells so much better... Hey, why is the water suddenly warmer? Wait til they let me outta this tub...I'll show 'em a 'SPIN CYCLE!!' Rinse me off! I look like a Rat Terrier! Oh hush, you don't look so hot after your bath either! I look like a drowned WHAT? Just my luck!! My first 15 minutes of fame and I'm in the BATH!! Shucks! Calgon take me away. Please don't let there be mud when I go out there again!!! PLEASE!!!! Mama said there will be days like this, there will be days like this mama said.......

Results from Contest # 53 [January 25, 2004 - 539 entries]

		I can't believe they sold me pet quality!	Shannon
		YKRAPS?....my name's not YKRAPS!	Ruby's Mom
		I'm cute, I'm smart.....and dog gone it, I'm worth it!	Megan
	Honorable Mentions Hey I know you! I just can't place the face! "I'll bet HE blinks before I do..." "Who's that Jack that all the chicks dig?" "He's one baaad Jack Russell Terrier..." (Hush yo mouth!) I just can't figure out how Sparky beat me in conformation..I am PURFECK! Here's lookin' at you kid Why won't he make the first move? Never could tie a "bone" tie right! Make-up. MAKE-UP!!!! I'm too sexy for my tag, too sexy for my tag, too sexy. Come on, I double jack dare ya! May I have this dance? If I sit still long enough maybe that beast will go away... I am NOT sharing my toys with this guy! That dang barber never gets my sideburns right. There's something oddly familiar about you but i just can't put my paw on it. Jack suddenly realizes that he has a receeding spotline..... Gosh, I just HATE how these department store mirrors make me look! Before....After....Before....After ! Hmmm, looks like I put on a few lbs. since the spay....

Results from Contest # 52 [January 13, 2004 - 350 entries]

		Hmmm, here comes Jack. Probably gonna brag about his new kong. I heard he got neutered.	oopsa
		Look at that conformation!!!	GTA
		You thinking what I'm thinking?	Sam
	Honorable Mentions Canine Rubbernecking Whoops... I think we need to call our insurance agent.... Wow! Did you see the tail on her? Strike a pose. Don't look at it, you will turn into stone WOW, it that Jackie?? Last time I saw her she was just a pup! Jack and Jill on the lamb Stop looking over my shoulder! Mom always said we didn't have our heads on straight! You come to the US Open often? Is it three or four calls before we answer? I told you someone was following us. Now do you believe me? Well that's one for the books. Ha ha, tricked you... I didn't say "Simon says!" I know it was you that tapped me on the shoulder, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about! We are... two wild and crazy guys! Your turn go get the ball. They dont think we are really going to come do they? There she goes justa walking down the street...

Results from Contest # 51 [January 5, 2004 - 250 entries]

		Can someone please get me a baby wipe!!	Ruger
		You dirty rat.	Anon
		It's the only way I could think of to become tri-colored...	Barry
	Honorable Mentions "Ladies & Gentlemen...we got him!" Me? Pig headed?!?!?.......no way! Oh no I think I hit the water pipe. "Mom told me there would be days like this..." Working dog my butt, nobody told me about this! Um, the cat did it. Snapshot of a squirrel's nightmare I AM a chocolate lab, you hear? Don't think a little mud will stop me. I'll be here when you come out!! The return of Swamp Thing! Can't wait to go in and get on that new sofa! This "Fear Factor" thing is a cinch! Jack does his impression of "Ah-nold" in Predator There's China! I can see it finally. The legend is true. Can you hear me now? Oh no....did I go overboard with my "extra" markings? I need to make sure I'm at least 51% white! Uh oh!! I don't think this is mud!!!!!!!