Results from Contest # 100 [December 26, 2004 - 259 entries]
||Let's see, I want a cat, a chew toy, a cat, doggy door, a cat...Did I mention a cat? [votes: 45]
||Let's discuss this "naughty list" issue. [votes: 32]
|| Rus J.
||Mmmmm!! Cookie crumbs!! [votes: 17]
|| Scott B.
- I show you Jack Frost nipping at your nose!!!! [votes: 15]
- Hmm, somehow I thought you'd be bigger! [votes: 15]
- Are you Lookin' at me??? [votes: 15]
- You the fat guy that gave me that fruitcake last year? [votes: 13]
- With a Jack this big guarding the tree, Santa was scared stiff. [votes: 12]
- I would like a bone, a chew, ooh ooh and a new ball! [votes: 11]
- Hey, Santa, you think you can gimme back what the vet took away? There's this cute pup... [votes: 10]
- Ya gotta ask yourself, "Do I feel lucky?" [votes: 10]
- Can I guide your sled tonight? [votes: 9]
- Jack noticed that Santa also had a rough coat. [votes: 9]
- 8 tiny reindeer, you say......well a couple Jacks could pull that sled thingy of your twice as fast. [votes: 6]
- Dude, don't you ever get groomed? [votes: 6]
- Hey! That's not a real beard!!! [votes: 4]
- Every dog has it's day, huh Santa? [votes: 4]
- And I thought my beard was long... [votes: 4]
- You may give presents once a year, but mine are given all year! [votes: 3]
- A little hand-plucking here and you'll be ready for the ring! [votes: 3]
- I have a beard too, but mine's not fake... [votes: 2]
Results from Contest # 99 [December 19, 2004 - 341 entries]
||That fat guy won't get by me this year. [votes: 55]
||Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.... (burp!)... [votes: 37]
||Not a creature was stirring, not even a jack! [votes: 35]
|| Butch and Boots
- Dear Santa. All I want for Christmas is a 'Forever Home' for every Jack Russell. X X. [votes: 27]
- After a long night of eggnog, Jack decided to sleep near the bathroom. [votes: 22]
- I told them, "Don't use my blankie for a tree skirt again", but did they listen, nooooooo [votes: 22]
- While visions of rawhides danced in his head..... [votes: 21]
- I would rather apologize personally for last years "Accident". [votes: 14]
- I just know I can convince Santa I was good this year... [votes: 13]
- It's the gift that keeps on giving way after the lights and tree are gone. [votes: 13]
- The Littlest Angel [votes: 12]
- (softly, to herself) Santa Baby, slip a rawhide under the tree. For me! [votes: 12]
- After a long day of wreaking havoc ... peace on Earth [votes: 12]
- Trying to wait up for Santa. [votes: 10]
- Don't disturb me! I've just settled down for my long winter's nap. [votes: 7]
- How come the tree gets a blanket??? [votes: 7]
- A Merry Christmas to all Jacks and to all Jacks a good-night! [votes: 5]
- Note from Santa: I prefer milk and cookies under the tree. Thanks. [votes: 4]
- I'm too cute for wrapping paper! [votes: 4]
- Jack Russell, the present that keeps on giving little presents under the tree. [votes: 4]
- Hello, I'm Jack Not-In-A-Box [votes: 3]
- Bah Humbug, I can't sleep with these blessed lights on. [votes: 2]
- The only tree around.....and I can't have my way with it. [votes: 1]
- All is calm ...all is bright.... [votes: 1]
Results from Contest # 98 [December 12, 2004 - 198 entries]
||Now this is the part when we sit and wait for the mail man... [votes: 43]
||Day-O...Day-O...Daylight come and Iguana go home... [votes: 37]
||Anna found a rich old dinosaur to marry. She says it's not for money! [votes: 27]
||Beauty and the Beast [votes: 27]
- Trust me, when she's gone, you're off the couch. [votes: 25]
- Heeerree, lizard lizard lizard... [votes: 23]
- Enough sun already..Look at your skin!! [votes: 22]
- Iguana go outside and play. [votes: 20]
- Ralphie that is some skin condition, what did the vet say? [votes: 20]
- Jack sees his wife for the first time after being on the Swan... [votes: 17]
- OK, So they say Jack Russells don't breed true, but this is ridiculous! [votes: 17]
- (Jack thinking) "He needs to get outta my spot, my mommy can use a new handbag". [votes: 15]
- Bud-weis-errrrrrrrrrrrr! [votes: 13]
- Do you see what I see? [votes: 8]
- So what comes after "Here Leezard...leezard...leezard?" [votes: 7]
- Hey Jack, If they caption this, less filling, tastes great, or can you here me now, I'm gonna puke. [votes: 7]
- She's nice.. must be a rawhide. [votes: 6]
- JACK---RUSSS-ELL [votes: 6]
- Hey, it's what's on the inside that matters, right? [votes: 5]
- I like the way the sun brings out the highlights in your fur. [votes: 5]
Results from Contest # 97 [December 5, 2004 - 244 entries]
||You want crazy, I'll show you crazy! [votes: 27]
||Reinactment of the line outside Walmart the day after Thanksgiving. [votes: 26]
|| T. Mc
||Can hear hear me NOW??? [votes: 24]
|| k stein
- Jingle bells, jingle bells jiingle all the wayy! oh what fun it is to howl and drive them all insane. [votes: 20]
- I KNOW you did not just call me "Short Stuff!" [votes: 19]
- That's not a set of teeth, THIS IS A SET OF TEETH! [votes: 18]
- But they told me you were chocolate and I don't care if it's bad for me! [votes: 15]
- You've messed with the wrong Jack, Jack! [votes: 15]
- If you value your paw, you'll get it off me. [votes: 14]
- Easy buddy, I ain't that kinda dawg! [votes: 13]
- ....So then I lifted my leg and widdled all over the carpet. HA HA HA good times....good times! [votes: 12]
- Lets start at the chorus...Ebony and Ivory, living together in perfect harmony! [votes: 11]
- You're Fired! [votes: 8]
- She'a a little bit Countryyyyyyyy.....He's a little bit Rock-N-Rollllll.... [votes: 8]
- On top of Old Smokyyyyyyy all covered with fleeeeeeeeeeas... [votes: 7]
- Kindly remove your hand... [votes: 6]
- Gimme a kiss, big boy! [votes: 4]
- What you talkin' about .....Willis?! [votes: 4]
- Taste's great..... less filling. [votes: 4]
- Yeah, same to you buddy!!!!!!! [votes: 4]
- How YOU doin'? [votes: 3]
- Offsetting penalties for excessive doggie breath. Play beer! [votes: 3]
- Yes, I definitely should have used your dentist. [votes: 2]
Results from Contest # 96 [November 28, 2004 - 260 entries]
||I keep forgetting....do I plant rawhide in the spring or fall? [votes: 38]
||Jack of Spades [votes: 36]
||Now with Martha in jail, I can grow the things I want in her yard! [votes: 30]
- You mean this isn't what you meant when you said you wanted me to get spayed??? [votes: 23]
- Jack's internship as a paleontologist has been very rewarding. [votes: 17]
- Goodbye, my beautiful bone..... *sniffle* [votes: 16]
- The funny thing is... This shovel tastes better than the bone. [votes: 10]
- We used to be proud hunters, now we're on HGTV. [votes: 10]
- I thought the National Treasure would be Bigger! [votes: 10]
- What really happened to Jimmy Hoffa. [votes: 10]
- Someone wanta say a few kind words about this poor bone's soul before I bury it? [votes: 9]
- Go to Ground?! I'll give you Go To Ground!! [votes: 9]
- Jack the Ripper was never caught. [votes: 9]
- Jack's sister, Jackie, angry at receiving garden tools for her birthday, uses them on Jack's present. [votes: 8]
- How do you work this thing? [votes: 7]
- Now where did I put that shovel! [votes: 7]
- OK, your so-called "prize-winning roses!" Say your prayers! [votes: 6]
- If I hurry I can put the fertilizer on it too. [votes: 6]
- I've got everything I need to grow more -- including fertilizer! [votes: 6]
- After I bury this shovel, I will get to chew on my bone. [votes: 6]
- Trowel? I don't need no stinkin' trowel! [votes: 5]
- Where your gardening tools really went. [votes: 4]
- Forget the rawhide. This chewstick is much more interesting! [votes: 3]
Results from Contest # 95 [Nov 21, 2004 - 245 entries]
||Get your licks on Route 66. [votes: 45]
||hoo HOT Ahhh ohh HOT HOT!! [votes: 28]
|| peteys dad
||A drink of water $1.00, hitching a ride $5.00, finding your way home...priceless. [votes: 19]
- Jack, after consuming one too many, simply could NOT walk the line! [votes: 18]
- I licked it, I liked it, I may lick it again, I don't care how disgusting you think it may be. [votes: 18]
- Hit the road Jack. [votes: 16]
- That chicken crossing the road tasted yummy! [votes: 14]
- On the road again... [votes: 13]
- Waddaya mean 'stick out your thumb'? What's a thumb? [votes: 13]
- ...and my woman took off with mah truck and mah collllllaaaarrrrrr.... [votes: 11]
- Water....I need Water... [votes: 10]
- Do you know where YOUR Jack Russells are? [votes: 9]
- DUDE WHERE'S MY CAR! [votes: 7]
- Here's what I think of your driving, pal! [votes: 7]
- And the oscar for best roadkill performance goes to... [votes: 5]
- It does not taste like chicken!! [votes: 4]
- Yeah this is a GREAT place for a picture... [votes: 4]
- What a time to have a runny nose! [votes: 3]
- A Coors Light and Straw would fix everything!!!!! [votes: 2]
- Why won't they stop!?!?! I'm showing leg like on TV... [votes: 2]
Results from Contest # 94 [Nov 14, 2004 - 341 entries]
||The Jack Russell Secret Service. [votes: 46]
||Meet cousin Bob from Jamaica. [votes: 37]
||Keep looking... that lost black poodle must be around here... I can almost smell it. [votes: 23]
- One of these things is not like the other... [votes: 22]
- Don't say anything about her hair. She's upset enough as it is. [votes: 20]
- One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong. [votes: 19]
- If we pretend he's not here, think he'll go away? [votes: 18]
- Dude! You brought your girlfriend??? [votes: 17]
- Yeah, right! Like I'm going to believe when you say there's something big, black & furry behind me! [votes: 13]
- Black sheep of the family! [votes: 11]
- She knew the end was near when they started looking around for witnesses. [votes: 10]
- And they said line breeding was OK... [votes: 9]
- I hate these bodyguard gigs out in the woods... too much cover. [votes: 9]
- Used to be a bunch of trees... now it's take a number and wait to pee. [votes: 8]
- We should've listened to the poodle. [votes: 7]
- Don't look now, but I think he's right behind us... [votes: 7]
- What...the poodle ate all the bread crumbs? Great! Just GREAT! Now we'll NEVER make it home! [votes: 7]
- Find Waldo. [votes: 6]
- Ever get that feeling you just don't belong? [votes: 5]
- A friend loves you even if you are different. [votes: 5]
- Hey, did you here something? [votes: 4]
- Jean Claude was always the last to be groomed... [votes: 3]
- Bad Hair Day. [votes: 3]
- Apparently I'm a Parson's Jack Russell. [votes: 1]
Results from Contest # 93 [Nov 7, 2004 - 323 entries]
||Achillity.....Agilkity...Agillitory.....Oh heck, 1 more dink and I can run that ostibikle course. [votes: 32]
||Hi, my name is Jack and I'm an alcoholic.
|| Rhonda / Dell
||Man's two best friends.
- Hey, I'm 21...in dog years. [votes: 21]
- Hi.....mom.........back from vacation a day early huh? [votes: 15]
- Uhh, my ID? It's on my other collar, I don't have it with me. [votes: 15]
- One more beer and that bulldog next door will look pretty good. [votes: 14]
- A little hair of the dog! [votes: 13]
- Tastes great, less filling! [votes: 12]
- It's noon somewhere. [votes: 10]
- Uh..guys? Someone wanna help me get this straw out of my nose? [votes: 9]
- Shame on me?! Shame on YOU!! Light beer for a working dog? [votes: 7]
- How could I resist the "Call of the Rockies"? [votes: 7]
- Don't worry, there's more in the fridge... [votes: 6]
- Susie gets caught drinking before GTG! [votes: 6]
- What dogs really do when owners are not home. [votes: 6]
- Jacks Gone Wild. [votes: 6]
- It runs in the family, Mom's an Irish Setter and Dad's a Saint Bernard. [votes: 6]
- Ever go to bed at 2 with a 10 and wake up at 10 with a 2? [votes: 6]
- You werent' suppose to see this. [votes: 5]
- That guy isn't that bad looking when you think about it. [votes: 5]
- This really is the last straw! [votes: 5]
- The first step is admitting you have a problem. [votes: 5]
- .... and TWINS! [votes: 5]
- So WHAT! I know I have a beer belly!! [votes: 4]
- How much do I need to drink to get that rat taste out of my mouth? [votes: 4]
- The first time at a singles bar is always the worst. [votes: 2]
- Can't you leave me be, giving up smoking was tough enough! [votes: 2]
- They say you get drunk faster if you drink with a straw. [votes: 2]
- Really, it's only 10 am? Oh, I'm so embarrassed. [votes: 2]
- A lady always uses a straw. [votes: 1]
Results from Contest # 92 [October 31, 2004 - 330 entries]
||Bush, Kerry, Bush, Kerry, Bush, Kerry [votes: 26]
||The reaction to the word "Neuter". [votes: 17]
||I hate these throat inspections every time the rat comes up missing. [votes: 16]
- Suddenly, kareoke night went terribly wrong.... [votes: 15]
- AAAAOOOO, Werewolves of London. [votes: 13]
- Look Ma, no cavities! [votes: 13]
- I'm not yelling, YOU'RE yelling! [votes: 11]
- Cards!....Sox!....Cards!....Sox!....Cards!.... [votes: 10]
- Can you hear me now?! [votes: 10]
- Wild thing...you make make my heart sing! [votes: 9]
- Any squirrel in my teeth? [votes: 8]
- Oh My God!!! Habanero Peppers do not make good chew toys. [votes: 8]
- Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer... [votes: 7]
- They're called crest whitestrips, all you do is... [votes: 5]
- ...and the spoon said..."that's no laddle, that's my knife.!" "AHHHH-HAHAHA!!!" [votes: 5]
- Tastes great... less filling... [votes: 4]
- It was a Halloween of the worst kind, the vampires started turning on each other!!! [votes: 4]
- Looks like we are going as dracula again. [votes: 4]
- Contestants from "the Swan" compare their new smiles. [votes: 3]
- No matter how hard I brush, I can't get this muck off of the roof of my mouth. [votes: 3]
- Feelings!!! Nothing more than Feelings...!! [votes: 3]
- Two out of three vets recommend Colgate. [votes: 2]
- Carl: Are you always this popular? Van Helsing: Pretty much. [votes: 2]
- Fighting over the leftover candy was getting more and more serious. [votes: 1]
Results from Contest # 91 [October 24, 2004 - 200 entries]
||... and this one time at band camp... [votes: 20]
||Can't we just stop and ASK for directions? [votes: 15]
||Are we there yet? [votes: 14]
- Are you gellin? [votes: 12]
- You just had to keep herding, didn't ya? Well now we're lost! [votes: 11]
- Excuse me missy, do you like short men? [votes: 9]
- If I take one more step Mr Frodo..that will be the farthest I've ever been away from home. [votes: 9]
- Again you have to pee? Didn't I tell you not to drink all that water? [votes: 8]
- Why'd you do it Spike? Why'd ya eat grandma's cat? [votes: 8]
- Are you sure there's such a thing as "snipes"? [votes: 7]
- We're off to see the wizard... the wonderful wizard of OZ... [votes: 7]
- On the road again... [votes: 7]
- Oooooh, look what you did to the plants! [votes: 6]
- Follow the yellow brick road. [votes: 6]
- Um Jack, the man at the pub warned us to stay on the path! Something about werewolves? [votes: 6]
- Hey, if I had a thumb, I'd put it up, OK?? [votes: 5]
- That skunk leave a bad taste in your mouth too? [votes: 5]
- So, tell me about this sheep fetish you have... [votes: 4]
- I'm glad you chose the "low road" with me... [votes: 3]
- I think this needs a little watering... Jack, do you gotta go? [votes: 3]
- This Pumpkin patch really bites! [votes: 3]
- I know TOTO and you are no TOTO. [votes: 3]
- Oh crap, I stepped on something! [votes: 3]
- Hey Jack, Something's wacky about these plants. [votes: 3]
- Think this bush qualifies as a rest area? [votes: 2]
- Oh yeah? I've got your "kong" right here! [votes: 2]
- Hey Bobby, you had enough of the straight and narrow? [votes: 2]
- Jack warned his friend to never stray from the beaten path. [votes: 2]
- Oh Squirrel, Where art Thou? [votes: 1]
- "My tongue's bigger!!!" "No mine is!" [votes: 1]
Results from Contest # 90 [October 17, 2004 - 230 entries]
||I'm the Jack of the world! [votes: 19]
||Captain, where is the poop deck? [votes: 18]
||...and I'm leaving FLORIDA for good!!! [votes: 15]
- Nude Beach! Nude Beach! [votes: 12]
- Dang. I'll never be able to pee over the side...they're going to be pissed! [votes: 12]
- Are we there yet??? [votes: 10]
- Should I let him know that we lost the skier? [votes: 10]
- Arrrr, Capt'n, there be groundhogs here. [votes: 10]
- Jack contemplates the consequences of voting against his alliance...... [votes: 10]
- Why do I keep hearing, "A Three Hour Tour"? [votes: 8]
- Sure hope I don't get any tan lines from this life jacket. [votes: 8]
- Stop the boat! Owner Overboard!!! [votes: 7]
- Land ho!!! [votes: 6]
- All paws on deck! [votes: 6]
- Jack, not knowing boats too well, thought he was actually driving. [votes: 5]
- Captain, read my compass - Tail and ear pointing south!!! [votes: 5]
- Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip... [votes: 5]
- Restrooms......as far as the eye can see! [votes: 5]
- You're gonna need a bigger boat! [votes: 5]
- Julie! I'll never forget you! I'll be back! [votes: 3]
- Jack wonders...is 'to Dolphin' considered a Sporting or Natural Certificate? [votes: 3]
- This looks like a good place to make that dirty, land-lubbin' woodchuck walk the plank! [votes: 3]
- Catfish to the starboard, Captain. [votes: 2]
- He's gone under the boat, I think he's gone under the boat! [votes: 1]
Results from Contest # 89 [October 10, 2004 - 249 entries]
||Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right NOW! [votes: 51]
|| Kelly (plus 48 others)|
||Now you know how it feels when I'm trying to go and you keep walking. [votes: 30]
||Run for your lives... SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!!! [votes: 18]
- Where will you be when your diarrhea comes back? [votes: 14]
- OK hurry, we are going to miss my race!!!! [votes: 10]
- Jack suddenly wished he didn't have such a keen sense of smell. [votes: 10]
- Finally one's open...why do bitches take so long in the john? [votes: 9]
- This lead isn't long enough for what's about to happen in there!! [votes: 7]
- What I wouldn't give for a tree... [votes: 6]
- I feel sorry for the next guy!! [votes: 6]
- Jack misunderstood what his owner meant by "pull my finger." [votes: 6]
- Oh, Dear........that kind of noise ain't natural.... [votes: 5]
- Come on Mom, we don't have to do everything together! [votes: 5]
- Do not go in there! [votes: 4]
- Someone had to many snawsages!!!!!!! [votes: 3]
- Not again!!! [votes: 3]
- Oh no, this is worse than having toilet paper stuck on my feet! [votes: 2]
- Hey, one of these will look better if I put it over there!! [votes: 2]
- Not exactly a horse drawn carriage... [votes: 1]
- I think I can, I think I can . . . [votes: 1]
Results from Contest # 88 [October 3, 2004 - 323 entries]
||OK, fake handoff to bullet, then a screen pass left to thunder...BREAK! [votes: 19]
||I tell you, there is no shame in having prick ears. [votes: 15]
||I'm only gonna say this one more time!! Look before you POOP!!! [votes: 14]
- On the Count of Two the Bay Horse goes Long and the Rest of You Block. [votes: 11]
- Jack finally stopping barking when he realized he was a little hoarse. [votes: 11]
- "...and he said he was having you gelded. If that's what I think it is, it's not good." [votes: 9]
- Hey guys, why the long faces? [votes: 8]
- "So this man walks into a bar"..stop me if you've heard it!!! [votes: 8]
- ... and I promise not to raise taxes, and cheap vet care for everyone. [votes: 8]
- "... and the jockey says 'that's no race horse, that's my wife!'" [votes: 7]
- We know you're guilty Jack, we saw where you hid the bones. [votes: 6]
- Okay, you win, you place and you show, and we all split the winnings... [votes: 6]
- Can anyone block here??... I'm getting my tail handed to me! [votes: 6]
- "No, it goes like this....A horse is a horse, of course of course..." [votes: 6]
- I'll trade the carrots I dug up for mouse time in each stall. Deal? [votes: 5]
- I REPEAT... "I did not have sexual relations.. with... that .. philly!" [votes: 5]
- I got some bad news... they were talking about glue.... [votes: 4]
- Greetings. I come in peace. Please take me to your leader. [votes: 4]
- Are you all feeling a bit horse?? [votes: 4]
- Why don't you just pick on someone your own size? [votes: 4]
- Jack found that his "horse face" comments got him in a precarious situation. [votes: 4]
- Now THIS is what I call an Offensive Line! [votes: 3]
- Um...neigh? [votes: 3]
- Sugar, will you do me the honor of accepting this rose? [votes: 1]
- If he talked any louder, Jack could not be called The Horse Whisperer! [votes: 1]
Results from Contest # 87 [September 26, 2004 - 256 entries]
||How long should I let him look for the ball... before I tell him I'm sitting on it? [votes: 36]
||You threw it, you get it. [votes: 24]
|| Winnie's Mom
||Next week...on the Amazing Race. [votes: 15]
||Can you hear me Now?? [votes: 15]
- ... and bring me back one of those bacon treats too... [votes: 12]
- You left me in the crate last nite, how the heck do I know where you left the truck? [votes: 9]
- There he goes again! Thinks he's Moses or something. [votes: 8]
- Actual photographic proof of the 'mail man mirage'. [votes: 7]
- Should I tell him north is the other direction? [votes: 6]
- Jeez!, I think he's forgotten the release command! [votes: 6]
- Hey!! I was joking!! Noo!! Come back!! I was just kidding!! [votes: 5]
- Oh cmon' Timmy... was it something I chewed? [votes: 5]
- Who are you kidding - you know we're lost! [votes: 5]
- Shane! Come back Shane! [votes: 4]
- Some Beach !!! [votes: 4]
- I can't believe you let him off the leash! [votes: 4]
- R2D2...come baaaaack!!! [votes: 4]
- Hey stupid! You're going the wrong way! [votes: 4]
- Run Forrest Run [votes: 3]
- I'm crushing your head! [votes: 2]
- "You let me know how that works out for you....." [votes: 2]
- That's even more dirt than I can handle... [votes: 1]
- Now I know I buried that bone somewhere !! [votes: 1]
- It's a long way to Tipperary... [votes: 1]
- Jack and Jill went up the hill... [votes: 1]
Results from Contest # 86 [September 19, 2004 - 186 entries]
||What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. [votes: 16]
||You know our parents will never accept this relationship. [votes: 11]
||Aww c'mon George... aren't ya curious? [votes: 11]
||Step away from the monkey! [votes: 11]
- Repeat after me... "This never happened". [votes: 10]
- 1, 2, 3..... and the monkey's pinned!!! [votes: 9]
- The Curious George Story that was never told. [votes: 9]
- How can something so wrong feel so right. [votes: 8]
- Just leave the bones outside the door and I'll let him go. [votes: 8]
- Don't even think about it. Get your own monkey, this one is all mine! [votes: 8]
- He was finnally able to get that monkey off his Jack. [votes: 8]
- Kiss me, you fool. [votes: 7]
- Who's your daddy?! [votes: 6]
- Now I lay me down to sleep, a dead monkey on my bed to keep... [votes: 6]
- Baby, I really do love you...the other stuffie was just...a fling.... [votes: 6]
- Hold still - this won't hurt a bit. [votes: 6]
- I 'ruv my monkey [votes: 6]
- I finally got that monkey off my back! [votes: 4]
- Thanks for letting me chew your ear for a while! [votes: 4]
- Come on, baby... I ship out to Iraq tomorrow... [votes: 4]
- Do you smmmeeellll what the Jack is cookin? [votes: 3]
- Coco's the only one that understands me... [votes: 3]
- I'm Jack and I endorsed this photo. [votes: 3]
- This is my woobie!! [votes: 3]
- The apple doesn't fall far from the tree... [votes: 1]
- Say uncle. [votes: 1]
- Those cold winter nights! [votes: 1]
Results from Contest # 85 [September 12, 2004 - 200 entries]
||... and the rat I cornered was THIS BIG! [votes: 63]
|| Hannah's girl|
||They keep talking about Patty's Cake... I can taste it now. [votes: 31]
|| Jakes mom
||Count Jack-ula! [votes: 22]
- Pull my finger. [votes: 21]
- 1, 2, 3, 4 ... I declare a thumb war! [votes: 18]
- They won't think I'm so cute once I pee on the carpet! [votes: 12]
- Yeah, you just THINK you are trimming these toe nails!!!! [votes: 9]
- I was framed, I tell ya, Framed!!!!!!! [votes: 9]
- Even at this early age... the eyes say it all... BEWARE, I am JACK. [votes: 8]
- Raise your paws if you're SURE!!!! [votes: 7]
- Trusting Jack doesn't realize he's being prepped for neutering. [votes: 6]
- The book says don't mess with my Ears, Paws or Tail or you'll get to meet my little Razor teeth. [votes: 5]
- My fellow Americans, I am not a crook! [votes: 5]
- Bite me. [votes: 4]
- Who are you people and why are you touching me? [votes: 4]
- Now turn your head and cough! [votes: 3]
- Which one of you did I inherit these ears from? [votes: 3]
- Uh oh... I think this is some kind of intervention... [votes: 2]
- Please, I can only dance with one of you at a time... [votes: 2]
- I don't want to dance. [votes: 1]
- Hey Guys... Let's Just Paws For Thought Here... [votes: 1]
- Tango anyone? [votes: 1]
- I am NOT a finger puppet! [votes: 1]
- Cute but vicious when tempted.
Results from Contest # 84 [September 5, 2004 - 191 entries]
||Who ordered a Jack & Coke??
|| Scott B|
||Skipper, I saved the wine.....here Ginger....who's your daddy?
||WILSON!!! I'm Sorry!
- Curse you Mark from 12 Maple Lane!!!!!
- How many times do I need to remind him to recycle!!??
- Don't tell me, another message in a bottle.
- The only known, clear picture of the infamous Loch Ness Monster!
- Is there pee in this lake? There is now!
- The message in this bottle, says --- Buy more scooby snacks, ASAP!
- Now lets see a cat do this.
- oooohh.... I think I just swam through a warm spot!
- I found Wilson.
- yo ho ho! I found a bottle of rum!
- Land, Land, I finally see Land!
- He watched the olympics for way too long...
- Sh*t--- I thought it was Wild Turkey.
- The weather started getting rough, the mighty Jack was tough!
- I hope I get 3 wishes!! I want a kong, a new chew toy, a......
- How about I enjoy that Corona and you work your tail off.
- I saw. I swam. I saved.
- Take it from me, a little hair of the dog will help!
Results from Contest # 83 [August 29, 2004 - 341 entries]
||Hope that human is enjoying his night sleep ... in the CRATE.
||As I lay me down to sleep, I pray those rats at bay to keep.
||These Olympic volleyball players need to be shown how to really DIG.
- Why are all the shows on Animal Planet about cats today?
- ooooppps.......I think I wet the bed.
- Life is good.
- You're fired!
- What the hell did I do last night... what happened to all my dollar bills?
- I want my MTV!
- I don't feel well.... NO! DO NOT check my temperature!!!!
- Now lets see. Yesterday Sally was going to tell Tony she was having his pups, err I mean baby.
- That six flags guy needs some serious help before he has a heart attack.
- I just love my soap opera....The Young and the Russelless.
- The day after the Nationals party.
- I'm too sick to go to school today mom...feel my nose, it's hot!
- Jackie finds herself mesmerized by the shine off of Dr. Phil's head.
- If only I had a bell.
- And I need my toast cut up into little squares, too.
- I can't believe I'm home again on a friday night.
- And to think I believed him when he said he was staying the night.
Results from Contest # 82 [August 22, 2004 - 250 entries]
||How male dogs pee when you're not around.
||Suddenly, Jack realized that his yard was really just one big crate.
||G-R-R-R- did I miss my flat race?
- I hate these rabbit proof fences.
- Why do I bother, you never post any of mine anyways... and they are funny....
- Anyone see my horse?
- They say the dirt is always looser on the other side of the fence...
- "Always look on the bright side of life...."
- Heeeeere, chicken, chicken, chicken....
- The grass is always greener...
- I'm so tired of the grass always being greener on the other side.
- "Don't fence me in......."
- I'd like to crap over there!
- "gotta go gotta go gotta go right now, gotta go gotta go gotta go..."
- What's Your Name? He'll write it in the grass.
- Hmm...climb or dig?
- Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
- Ok, I got out, but ..........how do I get back in ????
- G-R-R-R- did I miss my flat race ?
- Living next to a golf course has livened up Jack's enjoyment for balls.
- Batter, Batter, Batter, Swing !
- I see dead cats.
Results from Contest # 81 [August 16, 2004 - 386 entries]
||Where will you be when your diarrhea comes back?
|| Scotty in Iraq|
||I think I found the cat!! (See contest #80) =)
||I like big butts and I cannot lie, all you other Jacks can't deny....
- Honey....I was just kidding when I said you first.
- Is this really the best position for the Vet to do the annual worm check???
- C'mon out, I'm not gonna hurt ya!! (I just wanna chew on ya a little...)
- Boy, do I feel like an ass!
- Sunny side up!
- Could you please stop laughing and pull me out of here?
- Bottoms up!!
- OK, who packed my parachute?!
- I've lost my head!!!!!!
- Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places!
- Jack got back!
- Talk to the butt.
- Can you hear me now?
- Water and fertilize, then watch Jack grow.
- ...and for our next yoga pose, begin downward facing dog...
- Pull my feet.
- Put your best face forward...
- I found something spelled - S.E.P.T.I.C.
- The crop of Jacks look good this year.
- Ok now I'm in trouble- Mom noticed the cat's gone.
- Gettin' diggy wit it.
- The mouse that hath but one hole is quickly taken.
- HMMMM, what a strange sundial......I see it's a little after nine.
- I thought I planted tiger lilies...
- Sadly this is the last thing most owners ever see of their Jack.
- I know! I'm the butt of your jokes.
Results from Contest # 80 [August 8, 2004 - 248 entries]
||Now where'd we bury that cat?
||"Bring out your Jacks!! Bring out your Jacks!!"
||Please keep your paws inside the ride at all times.
- Still cruising for sticks!
- Members of the DNC leave Boston.
- Next stop is the Republican Convention!! Look out New York here we come!!
- Has everyone gone to the bathroom before we leave?
- Don't you just hate public transportation?
- What's 'manure'?
- "Avast ye swabs....shiver me timbers." I know - we're in the back yard but I always wanted to say that.
- Roll out the barrel!
- The first crop of terriers is always the most delicious.
- Okay Gang It's Time for Trading Spaces, lets redo Buddy's room first!!!
- On the road again...
- I'm driving?! I THOUGHT you were driving!
- A dog gone pile up.
- Everyone out! It's a trap! IT'S A KITTY BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Terriers' portayal of George Washington crossing the Delaware.
- Boldy Going Where No Jack Russell Has Gone Before
- Will Have Fun, Fun, Fun,...Till Our Daddy Takes Our Wheelbarrow Away!!!
- We're really gonna have to invest in some new wheels!!!!
- This isn't exactly what I pictured when he said "Let's go four-wheeling."
- Land off the starboard, Captain!
- Got Jacked!
- I've never been on a cruise ship, but I'm pretty sure this ain't it.
- Iceberg, straight ahead!
- Hey, do we still have room for the cute chick?
- I hope the neighbor dogs don't see us.
- You wheel us to the dirt, we'll do the rest.
- Lets give this garden a make over to remember!
Results from Contest # 79 [August 1, 2004 - 190 entries]
||A cat?!? You got a cat to strip for us?
||Make a wish honey! *I wish that I had a bigger cake*
- I wish we were playing poker...
- Okay, here's the cake, now where's the strippers?
- Spike sure knows how to throw a party, but........a cat stripper??
- Hey Waiter!!!....... Don't Forget Our Doggie Bag.....
- Make a wish-bone!
- It not my Birthday, my mom acts weird sometimes.
- Happy birthday to me, ain't sharing cake with thee!
- Where's the Jack Daniels?
- Oh, sure, you give us a tiny cake with one candle, and I'm 5! You treat us like dogs!
- Hey, who invited the lakeland?
- Dogs night in.
- Anybody got a deck of cards?
- What is this about? Bring back the poker chips!
- I hope the filling is rat flavored!
- Party Hats !! We need Party Hats !!
- What do you mean "no ice cream?"
- Where's the beef ?!
- "..You smell like a doggie and you look like one too..."
- Got plates?
- What do you have to do to get some service around here?
- AGM meeting in MD.....
- Hey Larry; potato chips? You were supposed to bring POKER CHIPS!
Results from Contest # 78 [July 25, 2004 - 209 entries]
||What happens in Vegas...stays in Vegas!
|| Rocko's Mom|
||The Truth Behind the Nielson Ratings.
||After 3 shots of toilet bowl punch Jack will never live this one down.
- I am so glad my grandpappy ain't alive to see this!!!
- After a long night of drinking, you'll never know who you wake up next to.
- Once he saw this photo, Senator Jack realized his run for the White House was in jeopardy.
- Now we know who is ordering all the Pay-per-View shows.
- Under the influence...of too much free time.
- Coyote Ugly.
- What's new pussycat, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- We're beat! It took us all day to get the VCR to stop blinking 12:00.
- All day it's "Get the phone, boy." and "Hey kitty, find the remote." It's all very tiring.
- New meaning for the phrase "Cold Shoulder"!
- Can You Hear Me Now????
- I'd never click and tell.
- Do you hate velcro as much as I do?
- Two contestants take a break in the shedding competition.
Results from Contest # 77 [July 18, 2004 - 232 entries]
||If he calls me "little buddy" one more time....
|| Patrick B|
||If I get it on board..and it's stinky and slimy, can I KEEP it?
||Orphaned at birth, Jack was raised by a pack of Newfoundlands...
|| clover ann
- You know... this would a lot easier if i had help.
- Tug boat.
- I'm not going swimming in there... let go of the lead!
- What a fish story this is gonna be.
- I caught a Catfish.
- I told him to wait 30 minutes after he ate! Humans...they never listen!
- "Join the Navy and see the world," the recruiter said. He forgot this part.
- OK, now to see if I can hold 2 skiers up.....hit the gas !!!
- A captain is only as good as his First Mate.
- "Stop the rockin" while I'm dockin"!
- We're (grunt) going to need (grunt) a bigger boat.
- Finding Nemo.
- What do you mean "A Three Hour Tour?" Who is Gilligan?
- One more step .... and I'll drain this lake.
- A specialist was brought in to, RAISE THE TITANIC!!!
- Don't MAKE me turn this boat around !!
- Theme from Jaws ...
Results from Contest # 76 [July 11, 2004 - 218 entries]
||Hare today, Gone tomorrow.
|| Jeff and Woofit|
||Bunny, I'm home!
||The things you'll do for a little tail!
- No thanks mom, I'll get dinner myself.
- Max, take it man! there's a file inside! For God's sake, you can be out tonight!
- You're lucky I don't have opposable thumbs.
- Fatal Attraction?
- Ssshhh....be vewy vewy quiet......i'm huntin' wabbit!
- Come here you cute giant prick eared rat.
- Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
- Cage Lickin Good!!
- Forgot my easter basket, eh?
- If you look at it this way, it looks even tastier!
- "Get the carrot... too slow! Get the carrot... too slow!"
- Roll over!
- wwhheenn ddiidd yyoouu eelleeccttrriiffyy tthhee ccaaggee????
- You have HOW many brothers and sisters.....?
- Please do not feed the animals.
- Like taking candy from a baby !
- Everyone says I shed!!! Look at all that hare!
- Here comes Jackie Wagging Tail, stealing carrots from Bunny's jail!
- Mom always said....eat your salad first, before you eat the main course!
- psst...there's a file in the middle.
- darn kids, I knew I'd end up taking care of their pet.
- It worked in the movie Troy!
Results from Contest # 75 [July 4, 2004 - 277 entries]
||You've got tail!
|| John R.|
||I use to chase cats.... now I push a mouse!
||One click, and the cat's on eBay!
- No, no, I swear I didn't order anything...we got HOW MANY cases of Scooby Snacks yesterday?
- hey, I want to see if my friends are in the chat room.
- No...I wanted to "chase" a mouse...duh.
- I'm busy - go ask your mother.
- I did the finances and you do have plenty of money for dog treats and toys.
- Can you give me a minute, I am trying to submit my caption!
- You just saved a ton of money on your car insurance by switching to Geico!
- The JRTCA Webmaster at work.
- Muahaha, the others in the chat room think I'm some human called 'Snarlin'.
- My uh uddah paw? Why do ya ask?
- College students' proof that their dog really did destroy their term paper!
- Now... my biscuits can be used as a deduction, right??
- I love the JRTCA website - so many pictures of pretty girls!!!
- Nobody knows your a dog on the internet.
- I hate pop ups!
- Meet the real chat room monitor.
- My Manager is a bitch.
- Ok... I'll file your extension, but you have to walk me first!
- Yes, I know you're hungry... I'm exiting the chatroom now.
- Sorry sweetie, I dont have time to paws my work to talk to you!
- Is that me on the Jack Russell Terrier caption page?
- Right - this is the last time I show you - highlight the text and then click on Bold...
- Yes, I'm tweaking my pedigree again!
- Yes, we can afford to go to Nationals.
- It's Carpel Tunnel time, it's Carpel Tunnel time!
Results from Contest # 74 [June 27, 2004 - 245 entries]
||Pardon me, are you feeling a little horse today?
|| Terrier Treatz|
||Why the long face?
|| Jeff (and many others)
||Yeah, yeah... win, place or show?
- Wanna race?
- So, who's the favourite in the Kentucky Derby?
- Who you calling little?
- Come on, just one ride.
- Are you my mommy?
- ...and your mama wears a saddle!
- Why the long face?
- Wanna horse around?
- Kiss me you fool.
- ...dont drink the water, I was a 16hh Paint Horse just yesterday!
- That's a really nice fence.
- Pardon me, but do you have any grey poupon?
- The Horse Whisperer.
- Well, hellooo down there.
- I dare ya to come over this fence!
- Size doesn't matter.
- You can have the hay, but all the small furry things are all mne, okay?
- So...do you like really know the "real Seabiscuit"?
- Howdy, Neighhhhhhhhhbor!
- And then I chased the frisbee, then I ate lunch, then I chased the frisbee...
Results from Contest # 73 [June 20, 2004 - 230 entries]
||Did anyone get the licence plate # of that truck?
||Get your kicks.....on Route 66.
- Wow, this feels good for my chaffing.
- On the road again...
- DEAD END
- Hit the road, Jack!
- I told you I don't walk after mile marker 4, Bob.
- Oh poor me...oh my legs...little chipmunk...I'm crippled. Come help!
- Leave me alone! I'm exfoliating!
- Never lay down on the hot road...never lay down on the hot road...
- OOOOOHHHH! That feels good!!
- Show Me The Way To Go Home!!....I'm Tired And I Wanna Go To Bed...
- I've fallen and I can't get up!
- Tired? Who's tired?! Throw it again!
- I gotta flat!!
- So this is easy street. I can dig it.
- Ah, the road less traveled.
- I'm too sexy for my tail......to sexy for my tail.
- Note to self: I run out of gas before cars do.
- Just let them squirrels try to cause an accident!
- Look cool, look cool... Just say Hi when she comes by, that's all...
- Wait, wait get my best side...okay I'm ready.
- Are we there yet?
- As a matter of fact, I DO own this sidewalk!
- Just a second, Rome wasn't built in one day...
- Carry me to your leader.
- You better call Triple A.
- OK, who unhooked my trailer.....?
- Yes! I finally got that itch!
- See, nice thighs even after two litters!
Results from Contest # 72 [June 13, 2004 - 239 entries]
||Look buster, I'm the earth dog here. Why don't you go retrieve a decoy or something.
||...and utilities are included!!
|| Hannah's girl
||Where Jack Russells come from.
- This is the third time I buried him...
- I guess your gonna 'retrieve' me now?
- That's the last time we'll be coming watch Dad play golf!
- We really did it! I see the Great Wall of China!
- Password please!
- Sorry, terriers only.
- I refuse to come out until you apologize!
- Wait.... I think we are doing this GTG thing wrong.... let me consult the JRTCA trial booklet.
- ... and then the fox comes out like this, and then you chase it, 'kay?
- Sometimes I just wanna crawl into a hole.
- Squatters rights...
- Never know what one can find in the ground these days.
- Ok, one more time big guy......you retriever, Me terrier...........this is my gig!!!
- Now, when you get to the fork, hang a left...make a right after that, and it'll be there.
- I didn't realized this hole was taken.
- Welcome to China, do you have anything to declare?
- I hope your name is "LIGHT", cause you're at the end of my tunnel.
- Bad news Ben.....I think I found the septic tank.
- I didn't say you COULDN'T, I said you SHOULDN'T!
- No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
- I don't want to meet the squirrel who dug that hole!
- Russell Rescue......
- He said "go get your bowl", not "go dig a hole!!!"
- Now Datsa A Bigga Hole You Gotta There
- Oh, you are a vixen, aren't you?
Results from Contest # 71 [June 6, 2004 - 173 entries]
||Green means go; yellow means slow.
||... and then this one time at band camp...
||You take the high road, and I'll take the low road, and I'll be in Scotland afore ye!
|| Ruby's Ma
- Oh my god! He finally proposed?!? Thats so sweet!
- I'm training for the New York Marathon...sorry, no time to stop and talk....
- That bottle of Scope did wonders, our breath truly IS minty fresh!
- And the Triple Crown winner is ...
- Hopefully, the trail of bread crumbs will lead us back!!
- You're going to run into something if you keep talking while you run and jump!
- Hey baby ! Want to go chase squirrels?
- Your collar is so ugly.
- No your collar is so ugly.
- You should try Red Bull..... it gives you wings!
- Quincy can be so animated when he is telling a story.
- We wouldn't BE Lost if YOU would have asked for directions.
- Like, omigosh! Can you believe it?! I totally made the varsity cheer squad!
- Did ya see the TAIL on that dam?!?!?!
- Over the river and through the woods...
- Don't even think about it!
- Jack be nimble, Jack be quick!
- Jerry, you're wearing a bra! ...It's a HARNESS, Sally!
- ...and she went like THIS when she jumped over that hurdle.
- I guess we shouldn't have ate that last power bar!
Results from Contest # 70 [May 30, 2004 - 188 entries]
||That step gets me every time.
||If this is your idea of sharing the bed, I won't even ask to split dessert.
||But it's the only way I can make the room stop spinning.
- Here she comes. Just act natural!
- What the heck was in those Kongs last night???
- I hate those dreams when it feels like you are falling... oops it was real!
- Watch that first step!
- Talk to the butt.
- I've fallen and can't get up.
- Could you call the chiropractor?
- I can't take it any more, I just can't take it! We need to change his food!
- I just can't do it captain, I'm just too tired!
- i hate the lower bunk!!!!
- I'm filing for divorce!!!!
- How Siamese twins sleep.
- You know it is going to be a bad day when...
- Maybe, if I sneak out, she won't notice I've gone for a drink from the toilet.
- Arrgg! My legs fell asleep!
- Safe at home plate!!
- Max was sure he was pushed!, but Delilah seemed to be fast asleep...
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila...FLOOR!
- Yeah, the minute they open the refrigerator door we'll just see who gets there first.
- Should have never asked her if she gained some weight!
- I have not been eating crackers!!!
- Someone hit the rewind button quick!
Results from Contest # 69 [May 23, 2004 - 234 entries]
||Help, I'm surrounded by tabloids!!
||Well it's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and it's my turn to go...
||Gotta Go...Gotta Go..Gotta Go Right Now!!!!!!
- The boys react to their new owner's "will you be able to hold it through the night?" question.
- Room service, we need room service now!
- Hey! It says in the classifieds that we are for sale?!?!
- Jacks in the box.
- He won't stop staring at me, He thinks he's a border collie again!
- I want to SING. I want to dance.
- Look under "Loving Humans Wanted" section!
- Hey, I'm the one on the right, these guys think they can read, but they only look at the pictures. Ha!
- What's black and white and yellow all over?
- AHHHHHHH... I'm sitting in pee and its not mine!
- Yeah, yeah, we know, poop on the paper not on the bed, poop on the paper not on the bed!
- I just can't pee with this guy watching me!
- Crappy news these days.
- Newspapers?!? Not in this day and age . . . I want mouse pads, we all want mouse pads!
- Got Milk?
- 3 Dog Night comes out of retirement for one last gig.
- Where are the comics?
Results from Contest # 68 [May 16, 2004 - 154 entries]
||I don't think our parents will approve.
||Is there a Funny Cide to this picture?
- It tastes just like chicken.
- Open wide... ah, I see, you're just a little hoarse.
- Stop foaling around and come play with me....
- Colt Malt Licker.
- And our folks said it wouldnt last...
- Heaven, I'm in heaven when we're dancing cheek to cheek.
- What flavor are you?
- Kiss me you fool.
- Horse got your tongue?!?!
- Tastes like my ass... wait... this IS my ass!
- Alas their love affair had to end, Jack was too afraid of making an 'ass' of himself.
- Once again, proof that taking a "triple dog dare you" will end badly.
- Foreign relations.
Results from Contest # 67 [May 9, 2004 - 281 entries]
||Okay, Okay when do we get the flock out of here.
||Three against one? Holy sheep!
||The tribal council vote is obvious.
|| Survivor Fan
- I am a Border Collie; I am a Border Collie; ..............
- Babs, you go left , I'll go right & we'll fool this imposter.
- Okay be calm, stay still, make like a cow pattie. They'll never see me.
- So what do ewe think it is??
- See, I told you I'm the black sheep of the family. Now do you believe me?
- DON'T MOVE! I've lost a contact lens!
- Baaaaad dog, baaaaaaad dog.
- Hi, I'm Todo... Am I still in Kansas?
- Bill, Fred look...I told you trying to clone us would never work.
- Jacks Rule -- Border Collies Drool!
- Son, just because it followed you home, doesn't mean you can keep it.
- Maybe if I lay real still, I can have a leg of lamb for lunch....
- Jack quit trying to bolt the sheep... they aren't included on the list of approved quarry!
- Look Bob, we're not stupid you know! You can't fool us with your "I'm not a sheepdog" routine!
- Ewe talkin' to me? Baaad move!
- You can't pull the wool over my eyes!
- Listen sheep, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?
- Shep & the boys ponder... It's black & white... but won't rollover?
- Good grief - how much longer til they go to ground?
- Hey Mabel, I think Farmer Brown went cheap on the border collie this time...
- Touch it? I'm not going to touch it. You touch it. No way.
- If I take out the big one on the left maybe the other two will follow, them being sheep and all.
- Ewe and Ewe, cover me. I'm going to check it out.
- Wow!!! So this is where those chew toys come from!
Results from Contest # 66 [May 2, 2004 - 190 entries]
||I am the new bark-o-lounger. Get used to it.
||Nine times around that agility course. Nine times! Insane!
||Hold on....I'll be recharged in a minute.
- So this is what dad does all day at work!
- This is the last mountain I will ever climb.
- Paws and Reflect.
- I was sneaking sips out of mommy's glass and (hic) all the sudden the room started spinning.
- Thank God it's Monday and they went to work...no ball chasing or frizbee catching for 5 days.
- I saw this on "Trading Spaces" A Jack Russell slip cover!
- Household Motto: Let's let the sleeping dog lie.
- Bills to pay, a family to feed... we working dogs get no respect.
- Too much work makes Jack a dull dog.
- My impersonation of a throw pillow.
- It's the new Lazy-Dog Recliner.... JR not included...
- How did I get up here? I swear I'll never touch another drop!
- Hey, being a stud ain't as easy as I thought!
- Houston, we have a problem.......will not recline!
- Ate the cat, destroyed the sofa, chewed 3 pair of shoes... I'm pooped!
- 10 more minutes mom! "The Apprentice" is just getting good!
- Honey, bring me a cold one!
- The morning after his bachelor party, this is where they found him.
- I can't believe she left me for a Fox Terrier!
Results from Contest # 65 [April 25, 2004 - 305 entries]
||...and here is the last photograph we ever got of Polly...
||Do I really have to give thanks first?
||I don't care what the breeder told you. That is not a Jack Russell.
- I will not be repeating my warning bird-dog. I said I won't be repeating my...
- Note to self.... Stay away from my master's liquor cabinet.
- Say buddy, could you spare a cracker?
- Polly want a cracker, Jack?
- Damn bird hasn't stopped talking yet!
- She said "Look at the birdie", I didn't think she meant it literally!!
- How do you shut this thing off? If I hear it say, "Hello!" again I'm going to scream!
- If I don't see him, he isn't there.
- He's actually offering me birdseed to chase the cat down the street!!
- Polly wanna cracker? I'm dying for some parrot.
- Did he just say "Walkies"??!
- It was just a peck on the cheek...honest!!
- You got to be kidding me! This is my new room mate?
- Never trust a smiling Jack.
- Who's a pretty boy then??
- Keep you eye on the birdie. He's about to disappear. hee hee hee.
- Is that a feather in your lips? Hey, where's Petey?
- Look at me when I'm talk'n to you!
- He just said the cat called me a poodle !!!
- Are you SURE he doesn't taste like chicken?
- The cat thinks that you're an idiot!
- A little birdie told me!!!
- Two birds? No no - there were never two....
- Say hello to my leetle friend.
- Jack fakes a smile at Polly's stupid jokes.
- Yes, I'm from South America...you say your ancestors are from England?
- I can't believe they let a bird sit on the furniture.
Results from Contest # 64 [April 18, 2004 - 215 entries]
||Damn, wish I didn't bet my treats on the Yankees.
||No Bone for me... Meditate, breathe, be calm.. Go to my happy place... Just go to my happy place.
||And... you're telling me that's all that's left of the neighbor's cat?!
- Son, I love you, but you're not getting my bud light... errr steak bone.
- Beat it kid! You're bothering me.
- Dear Lord, forgive me for what I'm about to do!
- Mom said to SHARE!!!
- Man, I hate sloppy seconds....
- Too bad you're on Weight Watchers...this rawhide is to DIE for....
- Do you even *know* how many calories are in those things?
- Get your elbows off the table.
- When it crosses the big blue stripe, its yours!
- Next, get your Queen some grapes.......and a palm branch to fan me with.
- Thanks, cabana boy...just charge it to my room....and put a little something on there for you too.
- Share or I'm telling mom where her shoes went!!
- Are these diagonal or horizontal stripes?
- I don't feel well...I see spots.
- Don Corleone...I've come to ask a favor.
- Gads, this upholstery gives me a sick headache.
- A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, you know....
- How many points is that on Weight Watchers?
- No, I don't want any - I'm just admiring your technique.
- Give me a piece of that bone Rodney or I am going to express my anal glands!!!!!!!!
Results from Contest # 63 [April 11, 2004 - 236 entries]
||Really, mom, we were just watching TV.
||What time did they say the races start?
||We're Sick...feel my clammy paw.
- Get that thing away from me!
- Help me, I can't get the remote.
- Let Sleeping Dogs Lie.
- Please Mom! Just 5 more minutes!!!
- Pull my finger...
- Once again the paparazzi catches Quincy and a friend in a compromising situation.
- Talk to the paw!
- Once again I will not disscuss my relationship with J-lo!
- Okay Honey, right after the game's over!
- No comment.
- You ain't woman enough to take my man!
- I give this movie four thumbs up!
- Was I snoring?
- If you are my wife's Private Eye, this is my sister visiting from Toledo.
- Take a number.
- I'm sorry, Martha has no comment.
- What good is a TV remote without an opposable thumb?
Results from Contest # 62 [April 4, 2004 - 193 entries]
||What dogs do when we turn our backs.
||I shund't uf at tha peanut butduh samwich!
||Are you gonna eat that french fry?
- Ooh! Popsicles! I love popsicles.
- Hurry up!!!!!! I cant pose like this forever just to get into the caption contest!
- I just caught a rabbit, I just caught a rabbit!
- The ball, The ball !!!!!!! THROW the ball !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Role Reversal - a Russell teasing a squirrel.
- Strike a pose, Vogue!
- Maybe I can catch that raindrop on my tongue!
- Pick me, pick me!
- I don't have a leash on.
- Run Forrest! Run!
- That squirrel looks tasty!
- I know you are but what am? I know you are but what am I?
- It's a bird. It's a plane. Doesn't matter -- I'll catch it
- I'm so happy in my yard, I'm so happy in my yard
- Hey stupid squirrel, here's one of your nuts. Come and get it. heh heh
- Give me the message, Sir.....I'll get it through the enemy lines!
Results from Contest # 61 [March 28, 2004 - 242 entries]
||This is NOT the way to fix my prick ears!
||In my Easter bonnet with all the frills upon it.
||You want to kisssss me ... you want to huuuuug me!
- Little Dog House on the Prairie.
- Grandma, what big eyes you have!
- Looks like its curtains Miss Scarlett.
- Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride.
- Ground Control to Major Tom...
- I may look cute, but do I look happy?
- In my day, we had to run in 6 feet of snow to chase squirrels....uphill...with no collar....
- So where's my $50? You said you'd pay me $50....
- Your Honor, I beg forgiveness for Martha Stewart.
- Frankly Rhett, I am the Dam. . .and you're not the Sire.
- No, no...diaper the other end!
- My Mommy hates me...
- Hello, and welcome to Dutch county.
- Jack plays a small part in "The Landing at Plymouth Rock".
- Sarah, Plain And Tall.
- The Dingo ate my baby!
- I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat...
- Would you like to buy some nice Amish bread?
- Beauty is as beauty does.
- Tell me the truth, is it me or what?
Results from Contest # 60 [March 21, 2004 - 248 entries]
||Somehow, I don't think I'm sitting on a big warm cookie!
|| The Weasel|
||Hey, close the door! Where were you raised - in a barn?
||Honest, I'm not lookin' for "ground beef", I'm lookin' for ground HOG.
- Stand back ladies...I've got enough lovin' for everyone.
- Got Milk?
- They said Daisy's calf was odd looking, but ...
- OK, you said to wait till the cows came home. They're here, what am I supposed to do with them?
- Even the dogs are worried about Mad Cow.
- Eat more chicken.
- For the last time Bessy, its a "moo" here and a 'moo" there.
- Ever feel as if you are being watched?
- I thought he was your kid.
- Now watch this... this is how you tip a dog.
- Where's the beef??
- "Beef Wellington" ....sounds GREAT!
- That's the last time I arrange for a double date on that web site!
- Look tough... look tough... oh darn, I just peed.
- They followed me home. Can I keep em? huh huh huh Can I, Can I ?????
- Slowly, I'm moving very slowly.
- Stop looking at me!
- I must be having one of those nightmares again...
- Be wery, wery quiet. I'm hunting wabbits!
- I hate being lactose intolerant!
Results from Contest # 59 [March 14, 2004 - 190 entries]
||Everyone knows the drill. Once they get in the car then we surround the cat.
||Ok younguns, the car wont start and she's PO'ed. Prepare to do some serious face licking.
||The Feeders are home! The Feeders are home!
- Car: $20,000, keys: $20, hiding the keys from your owner... priceless!
- Here's the story...of a dog named Brady...who was busy with 3 boys of his own.
- Kids, do not try to figure out humans.
- See kids, this is how they start acting when they have been snowed in half the winter...
- Well kids, it looks like Dad is getting another parking ticket.
- The brake is on the left!.. The brake is on the left!
- See pups, chasing cars is a dumb idea. She's caught it now and doesn't know what to do with it.
- That, children, is a stupid human trick!
- Children, this is why we have to keep them on a lead outside.
- Lesson #1: Digging is an art. If you have to use a shovel, ya'aint no artist.
- Can you believe we're all from the same litter?
- Does he know that hes standing where we "do our buisness?"
- Mommy, how much is that person in the window?
- Looks like we picked a good day not to go for a car ride.
- Which one of you left a present for him on the drivers seat?
- Short attention span theatre!
- Getting all your Jacks in a row.
- Okay, we've had our fun, give her the keys back.
- That's it! Good human, shovel the driveway so we can go out and do our stuff.
Results from Contest # 58 [March 7, 2004 - 256 entries]
||Oh no, they're home. Ya think they'll notice the parakeet's missing?
||She's your sister??, OK OK .... wait a minute...
||The mail carrier's worst nightmare.
- First there was singing Billy Bass, now singing JR heads.
- We better work this out cause I really got to go!!!!!!!
- I've got a splitting headache!
- Here's another fine mess you got us into!! - But I couldn't help it, Ollie, really I couldn't!!
- Two heads are better than one!
- Jacks in the box.
- Who said the hole in the hay bales on the race track was too small?
- Hey we've been framed!
- Do i smell possum soup?
- Age before beauty.
- OK, maybe this was a dumb idea!
- What part of Do Not Disturb didn't you understand?
- Help! Its bath time and we can't get out!
- Don't worry. I've got your back.
- Starsky and Hutch are back.
- Remember when we had whiskers and depth perception?
- Who Let the Dogs Out?
- Honey we're home!
- Bacon, bacon, bacon. We smell BACON!!!!
- Forget the weather channel... see for yourself!
- Hay-bale simulator for racing off-season
- Alright, lets start thinking OUTSIDE the box.
- Victims of the French revolution.
- Is this the only way into the Chat Room?
Results from Contest # 57 [February 29, 2004 - 247 entries]
||Who sat on the puppy?
||Now I know what the back end of a Thong feels like.
|| j m
||Stuck in the middle with you.
- I still can't find the remote!
- Crack kills.
- Mustard, relish, hold the onion, please.
- Thank goodness for these ears.
- I'm a celebrity. Get me out of here!
- Just leave me a wake up call for the spring trials.
- Can you see me now?
- Okay, okay........I give up.....I'll talk......I'll tell you everything!
- I always seem to fall through the cracks.
- Why is the hot dog always smaller than the bun???
- Thank goodness it's not plumber's crack!
- The next best thing to go to ground!
- Who knew rappelling would be so dangerous?
- Between a rock and a hard place!
- Journey to the center of the couch.
- Now I know how a wedgie feels!
- 1...2...3..Ready or not here I come!
- Feels just like I'm back with the litter, yawn...
- Another stain on the couch!
- Technically I am not on the furniture!
- If stepping on a crack breaks your mother's back, does this put her in a body cast?
- Loose change.. loose change... if they won't enter me in conformation... I WILL!!!!
- Excuse me, but I'm trying to read between the lines .
Results from Contest # 56 [February 22, 2004 - 228 entries]
||Have a seat, we'll start with a few ink blots & then we'll talk about your Mother.
||I see dead cats.
||You are the weakest link. Goodbye!!
- Does nearsightedness disqualify me from trials?
- They said it made me look smarter.
- Come over here and let me get a better look at you.
- I just wear these to make my food bowl look bigger.
- Just wait till your Father gets home.
- Hey! Watch what you say about me in chat, I can read that over your shoulder you know.
- I remember when I was a pup and had to walk 3 miles to school, in the snow!
- It depends on what the definition of 'is' is.
- Open wide. Hmm. 2 doggie biscuits and call me in the morning.
- ...and with enough therapy, we should be able to cure your fear of wet dark tunnels!
- Tell me more about this little red riding hood dream you've been having.....
- Yes, I read True Grit.
- Mrs Taft, please send in the next pup.
- I believe someone is making a spectacle of me!
- And now children, the proper way to chase cats.....
- Yes, well you won't be laughing when I break them, will you now?
- You say you've had these feelings of inferiority since the last show?
- Damn you, I am so going to eat your shoes for this.
- Another Jack Russell making a spectacle of himself!
Results from Contest # 55 [February 15, 2004 - 345 entries]
||It's rumored that if you sunbathe for 15 minutes a day, you become show quality.
||For best results, recharge when battery is fully spent.
- Synchronised snoozing!
- Time to roll over Fred - and get a tan on the other side
- You think they might extend this sill out someday?
- How much are the doggies in the window?
- Ahhh....the dog days of summer!
- Why do i always get the back end of the deal?
- When are these people gonna ever buy some furniture?!
- So, you say the cat did this for hours on end.....what happened to the cat?
- Tanning beds, who needs em?
- Here comes the sun!!!
- I told you this would be cheaper than Hawaii.
- Wake me when dinner's ready.
- Me and my shadow.
- Oh the pane, Oh the pane!
- I don't know what you had for dinner but it sounds as if it's leaving!
- Now if this is what you call living on the edge, I love it.
- I wish someone had told us that Rabbit we were chasing was a Volkswagon.
- I told you we shouldn't of had those last few shots.
- Dog Day Afternoon.
- Next time we stay at the Marriott, I hate it when the bed is too narrow.
Results from Contest # 54 [February 4, 2004 - 342 entries]
|| ...and then this skunk came out of the hole, he looked at me, I looked at him...
||At this moment I AM NOT TAKING CALLS.
||I can't go hunting with you tonight honey, I have to wash my hair.
- If the guys down at the kennel see me like this I'll never live it down.
- Can you smell me now?... Can you smell me now?..
- If you wanted a Chinese Crested, you should have bought one!!!!
- And you thought you had problems...
- That one better not make it to the internet.
- Back away from the tub before somebody gets hurt!!!
- Do I amuse you?
- Make sure you get behind my ears.
- I've just washed my fur and I can't do a thing with it!
- Ohhhh.......why couldn't i have been sold as pet quality.....I hate the grooming!!
- Don't even say it.
- You should see the other guy!
- But dead animal smells so much better...
- Hey, why is the water suddenly warmer?
- Wait til they let me outta this tub...I'll show 'em a 'SPIN CYCLE!!'
- Rinse me off! I look like a Rat Terrier!
- Oh hush, you don't look so hot after your bath either!
- I look like a drowned WHAT?
- Just my luck!! My first 15 minutes of fame and I'm in the BATH!! Shucks!
- Calgon take me away.
- Please don't let there be mud when I go out there again!!! PLEASE!!!!
- Mama said there will be days like this, there will be days like this mama said.......
Results from Contest # 53 [January 25, 2004 - 539 entries]
||I can't believe they sold me pet quality!
||YKRAPS?....my name's not YKRAPS!
|| Ruby's Mom
||I'm cute, I'm smart.....and dog gone it, I'm worth it!
- Hey I know you! I just can't place the face!
- "I'll bet HE blinks before I do..."
- "Who's that Jack that all the chicks dig?" "He's one baaad Jack Russell Terrier..." (Hush yo mouth!)
- I just can't figure out how Sparky beat me in conformation..I am PURFECK!
- Here's lookin' at you kid
- Why won't he make the first move?
- Never could tie a "bone" tie right!
- Make-up. MAKE-UP!!!!
- I'm too sexy for my tag, too sexy for my tag, too sexy.
- Come on, I double jack dare ya!
- May I have this dance?
- If I sit still long enough maybe that beast will go away...
- I am NOT sharing my toys with this guy!
- That dang barber never gets my sideburns right.
- There's something oddly familiar about you but i just can't put my paw on it.
- Jack suddenly realizes that he has a receeding spotline.....
- Gosh, I just HATE how these department store mirrors make me look!
- Before....After....Before....After !
- Hmmm, looks like I put on a few lbs. since the spay....
Results from Contest # 52 [January 13, 2004 - 350 entries]
||Hmmm, here comes Jack. Probably gonna brag about his new kong. I heard he got neutered.
||Look at that conformation!!!
||You thinking what I'm thinking?
- Canine Rubbernecking
- Whoops... I think we need to call our insurance agent....
- Wow! Did you see the tail on her?
- Strike a pose.
- Don't look at it, you will turn into stone
- WOW, it that Jackie?? Last time I saw her she was just a pup!
- Jack and Jill on the lamb
- Stop looking over my shoulder!
- Mom always said we didn't have our heads on straight!
- You come to the US Open often?
- Is it three or four calls before we answer?
- I told you someone was following us. Now do you believe me?
- Well that's one for the books.
- Ha ha, tricked you... I didn't say "Simon says!"
- I know it was you that tapped me on the shoulder, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!
- We are... two wild and crazy guys!
- Your turn go get the ball.
- They dont think we are really going to come do they?
- There she goes justa walking down the street...
Results from Contest # 51 [January 5, 2004 - 250 entries]
||Can someone please get me a baby wipe!!
||You dirty rat.
||It's the only way I could think of to become tri-colored...
- "Ladies & Gentlemen...we got him!"
- Me? Pig headed?!?!?.......no way!
- Oh no I think I hit the water pipe.
- "Mom told me there would be days like this..."
- Working dog my butt, nobody told me about this!
- Um, the cat did it.
- Snapshot of a squirrel's nightmare
- I AM a chocolate lab, you hear?
- Don't think a little mud will stop me. I'll be here when you come out!!
- The return of Swamp Thing!
- Can't wait to go in and get on that new sofa!
- This "Fear Factor" thing is a cinch!
- Jack does his impression of "Ah-nold" in Predator
- There's China! I can see it finally. The legend is true.
- Can you hear me now?
- Oh no....did I go overboard with my "extra" markings? I need to make sure I'm at least 51% white!
- Uh oh!! I don't think this is mud!!!!!!!